Priesterin von Avalon

Musings on my daughter's roots

2012-01-26T02:10:00.000-08:00

I was born by the mediterranean sea, where the land carries the echoes of peoples long gone. The Romans, the Greeks, the celto-liguric tribes and peoples further back in time, who sailed the seas and traded, shaping what later became Europe.

The Mont Ste. Victoire near Aix-en-Provence, where we lived

For the first few years in this life my eyes perceived the world in a special shining light. The bright sun of Provence warmed my skin. The ground was dry and my feet toddled over pebbles, the air I breathed was full of spices.

I grew up in the North of Germany, where the soil is dark and moist, the land is flat and the horizon is low. Where buzzards fly in a leaden sky and the Goddess lives in moors and heather. There I watched my mother and I learned to love the Earth. I learned about the cycles of planting and growth, of harvesting and rest. I learned how to build and tend to a woodfire.

In spring the white skin of birch tree maidens shines bright, planted in pairs following straight trackways across the great Northern Plains, their hair of fresh green leafes dancing in the wind. In summer cattle graze on deep green meadows, growing fat, crops grow high and flowers are colourful and abundant. Ancient stones have stood there for millennia, like watchers following the change of the seasons and of ages.

One of seven neolithic tombs, called the Seven Stone Houses, in the heather not far from where my Mum lives

Standing Stones also watch the land of Brittany. My father's people are the people of the West and every year I went to connect to this part of my heritage. There I heard the ancestors call me, the Celts and the neolithic people, whisper stories to my ear, of sea lore and earth lore, the hidden meaning of the symbols carved into the stone. I heard the mermaids sing and the selkies cry. Marie Morgane stirred the seasalt within the blood that runs in my veins and told me stories of the world below the tides.

I walked among stones aligned and womb-like tombs, built from stone and earth. I walked the coast of grey granit in the rain and watched the green-grey sea, sea spray clinging to my skin and hair, rugged rocks and stormy skies, royal sunsets and misty veils. I swam and played in the waves, found treasures on the beach, watched the sea pinks nod their little heads on the cliffs and I listened.

I listened to the music in the wind and stories of the seagulls.

My mother's folk came from the heartland of Germany, crossing artificial borders and stretching into slavic lands and Baltic countries. This is a land that has seen many uproars and wars, where peoples fought and killed other peoples, where blood has deeply soaked the earth and cultures and kingdomes came and went.
It is hard to feel secure and safe where nothing is constant, because what is built is quickly unrooted and torn down again. The only thing lasting there is the land itself, which carries memories of all. Plains and fields interchange with hills and deep forests, land and sky meet directly and for ever the living energy of creation and destruction flows between the two, extending out into and nurturing the whole of Europe.

I have been blessed to have been able to do a little bit of travelling, dipping into the flow and the scent of other cultures on other continents.

I have marvelled at the speed and sound and colours and at the stillness and the attention to purpose and detail of Japan, I have watched the mist hide the traces of the Native Americans' heritage between the trees in the woodland hills of Washington, USA, and I have felt the desert sands on my skin while ancient stone faces silently smiled down on me in Northern Africa. I have yet to explore the lakes and forests of the North, I am longing to see the Northern Lights and the Midnight Sun. But where I feel most at home is in Western Europe. I long to return to walk the lush green land of Avalon, to warm myself by the fireplace with a hot Whiskey again while outside the Irish rain comes lashing down, to walk again among the Stones in Brittany. I love my life in the Rhine Valley where the Goddesses Matrona guard the land and I love to return to my roots in the dark land of the Northern plains. But I miss the Sea. I hear the wind and the harps calling me, I smell the fires and I feel the Stones in my blood.

Snoqualmie Falls

Path up the Tor, Glastonbury

Hathor's Temple in Dendera

My Mum and I in Matrona's Temple in Nettersheim

The haven that is my Mum's garden in the North.

This is only my part of the whole picture. It is for my partner to tell his own story, if he wants to do that. So when our child is born, where will she feel is her home? Where has her soul come from? What will I teach her? Who will she be?

Blessing Ceremony before the Birth

2012-01-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning I went to the river in silence. Breathing in through my yoni and out through my crown I connected to the Source, the Lady's energy that runs in the Earth. It was very misty and quiet with barely any runners. Calling in the Lady of Avalon and Bridie the Maiden Goddess I walked to a place where there is access to the water. There are always loads of seagulls there, ducks and often also some swans. There weren't any swans on Sunday morning, but the seagulls were sitting on the balustrade. They took flight when I approached and circled in the air, calling. It looked beautiful against the grey sky.

I called to Bridie then whose sacred day is the 2nd of February. She is the Fiery Arrow, the holder of the Triple Flame of Healing, Smithcraft and Poetry. She is the Maiden, who brings new beginnings, and also the midwife who helps the new into being. My due date is the 3rd of February, so I have from the beginning of my pregnancy felt that she is my baby's guardian, watching over me and over the pregnancy and that all is well.
As I stood there by the water in the mist, I felt the gates between the worlds were open. Especially above the water the mist was so thick I really couldn't see far, and I listened to the seagulls as they settled again. The ducks mostly slept.
I poured my libation of cow's milk into the water and asked Bridie for a gentle and joyful birth. I asked her to watch over me and my daughter and to keep us healthy. Then I dropped my dried rose petals, lavender blossoms and herbs into the river, asking Bridie to bless our new life as a family together with health, joy, love, understanding and abundance. I asked Her to be my daughters guardian goddess all her life. As I watched the stream carry my offerings away and the seagulls circle in the air I scried for my daughter.

When I heard a crow calling behind me I turned around and there was Morgen Thitis in Her crow form sitting on a lamp post, bearing witness to my ceremony and answering my prayer, letting me know that my daughter would be watched over all her life.

I love it when the world reveals its magic, and when you don't know where Thisworld ends and the Otherworld begins.

It was a beautiful, powerful ceremony. I thanked the Lady and walked home through my hometown. Then I had a very nice nurturing müsli for breakfast, sitting in my kitchen and watching the mist slowly slowly disappear through my window, until the sun came out.

Sacred Nights and Holle's Day

2012-01-15T02:54:00.000-08:00

In Germany we celebrate the twelve Sacred Nights. The first night is the night of the Winter Solstice and then again the nights between the Mother's Night on the 24th of December up to the 6th of January, which is in some regions called Perchta's Night, in others Holle's Night or the Shining Night. In German these nights are called the Rauhnächte, which phonetically is the „harsh nights“, but it actually derives from Rauch – smoke and räuchern – to smudge, and they are called this because during these nights, we smudge every room of the flat or house every day, asking the Goddess to bless our home and all living there.
I have to admit the Winter Solstice passed for me without me barely paying notice. I was in some other place, being slightly obsessed with getting ready for the arrival of the little fairy and somehow felt I had to manifest and paint a baby changing unit before going home to the North for Christmas.

This is it. It's so pretty. This is where we will look after the little bean.

Christmas with my family was very quiet and wonderful. My poor Mum had a chemo treatment just the day before the Mother's Night and was absolutely low on energy during the holidays, which suited me fine, because so was I. I spent Christmas on the couch by the fire, reading and eating. Everybody loved my Lebkuchen and Christmas buiscuits, so that made me happy, we had some lovely food and I got some really fantastic gifts, including a car seat for the baby from my brothers and lots of sweet tiny baby stuff from my brother's partner. My eldest brother, my Mum and I spent one whole night on watching the first season of Downton Abbey together, which had been my gift for my brother, and we really enjoyed that.
I couldn't stay long in the North due to appointments with my midwives and finally the beginning of a new project in work. But I did manage to go to PolyTheae.V.'s celebration of Holle's Day at the Centre Helfensteine near Kassel!
I was really eager to go to and at least mark the end of the 12 Sacred Nights. The three days festival marked Holle's Night with a beautiful ceremony, storytelling, songs, workshops and talks. Due to difficulties with my car... yes, more difficulties... my friend Helga and I arrived late, but we did get there! It was organised by my sister priestess of Avalon Miriam and her organisation PolyThea e.V., and it was wonderful to see her again, and my friend Peti, both had been priestessing with me in the first German Goddess Conference in October 2009 and I hadn't seen both since the Avalon Goddess Conference in July 2010. Later in the evening my friend Simone arrived, again I hadn't seen her since the German Conference. There was hugs and sisterhood and laughter and it felt SO GOOD! But of course there were also loads of women there I hadn't met before and also some of the „bigger names“, and I was really curious what they were like. The energy all the way through the three days was lovely, everybody I met was really friendly, welcoming and in fact there was only one woman who came across a bit weird, but never mind. I felt really well there and felt I made lots of new friends, though I usually need a while before I feel comfortable around new people.
It was absolutely lovely to stand in circle again with sister priestesses and to call in, I was in the South so I called in the Water and though I wasn't involved in any other way in the festival, I loved to priestess, so thank you big time, Miriam, for asking me xxx
It was a really lovely time. Some of the workshops were wonderful, some I didn't like too much. We journeyed into the Underworld and took whatever we needed for the new solar year from the Hel's Cauldron. We journeyed into Arianrhod's spiral castle of Caer Sidi and into the Stillness and brought back visions for the coming months. We strengthened and blessed our visions through voicing, witnessing and laughter in the ancient rite of the Yule Boar. We danced and shared traditional Yule/Christmas cookies.

The feathered fan I made. My old one was broken some time ago and I never replaced it, so it's good, to have a wafter again to use for smudging.

Holle's Day this year was special in another way for my sister priestesses, because it was the day of our friend and teacher Kathy's masectomy. So we gathered outside on the land, called in the Wheel of Avalon and did a healing ceremony, reaching out to her across the land and through and the land, sending her our love and healing on the currents in the Air and in the Earth. I was glad to be able to do this with Miriam and Peti, and also glad to by doing this bring the special energy of Avalon into the Holle Festival, which is so important to me.

The grounds of the retreat house are beautiful. I didn't make it up the Helfensteine, but then I didn't sleep much and being 36 weeks pregnant I thought I can really leave this experience to the next time I'm there.
Another thing I enjoyed was how during the meals all the Mothers shared their stories of their own pregnancies and birthings with me, and how all the Lovers asked me to share about my experience of this pregnancy. Since we do not live in clans anymore and don't have frequent women's circles anymore, we are in danger of losing access to this wisdom. But I have never accepted going through this transition time on my own, but have always reached out to my sisters. Sharing and celebrating our moon cycles and life's initiations is part of our heritage as women. And it's wonderful to experience and fun to do!
I enjoyed being in the festival space a lot, and it was exciting and positive and great, but I was also quite happy when I was back home Saturday night. Time to rest now and let the vision take root. Even though the Sacred Nights are over, we are still in the Stillness and spend as much time as possible dreaming, hibernating and just being.

Birth Candles

2011-12-20T08:49:00.000-08:00

This is the Birth Candle I made for the baby, the purple gems for the Lady's Blessings and the blue ones for her (my daughter's) element's blessings - she is a little mermaid.

And this is the Birth Candle I made for myself, the red symbolizing the blood, the life and the female power in birth.

I called in the Lady before I began working on the candles, annointed them, decorated them, charged them with prayers and blessed them, and then dedicated them to the Lady. They are now sitting on my altar where they'll remain until the perfect day comes.

In the Cauldron/In the Stillness

2011-12-15T07:58:00.000-08:00

I am now in my 33rd week. I am not working at the moment because the start of the next project keeps being postponed, and I'm quite happy about it. I am incredibly heavy and big by now, and I want to sleep 18hrs per day. I am very short of breath, I'm too hot most of the time and the smallest activity has me end up covered in sweat... Also my digestion is completely messed up. The last few weeks havn't been easy.
My nephew sadly has died in late November. He was a charming young man, with a very lovely heart energy, suffering from mucoviscidosis since his birth. He was only 23 years old when his spirit returned to the Source, and his funeral was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced in my life.
I have spent the weeks since trying to figure out what needs to be done bureaucracy-wise in order to receive maternal allowance and parental support once the little fairy is here, and I am not even going to talk about how stupid the people are at the office and how illogical and unfair the system is. I think I am there now, so I refuse to waste another thought on this.
With really strong tummy pains and the return of my headaches it was quite a difficult time in the Cauldron for me though.
In order to not lose myself in the Cauldron I kept myself busy connecting to the changing energy of the Lady as the Wheel turns to Yule. I have spent three days making Lebkuchen and they turned out LOVELY and I have also made another birth candle. Now that the placenta has moved and my gynaecologist said there is no reason not to have a home birth, I am quite looking forward to giving birth. The first birth candle I made was a blessing candle for the little mermaid, and this one now is blood red to give me strength and empower me, and it is quite strong. Also I am woring on a painting of Sheilagh na Gig which should be finished soon. But I tire quickly and then I go to bed, because my wise mother-friends have all told me to go and have a nap when I'm tired as long as I still can, so I don't feel bad about it at all :-)
The baby is healthy and happy, dancing and swimming around in Her womb sea and I am moving into the Stillness, into the Dreamtime and into hibernation.

Winter begins: Dia de Muertos, Frida Kahlo and Paper Lanterns

2011-11-10T04:49:00.000-08:00

Winter is coming and the world seems to be becoming quieter. I have finished my painting of Keridwen. She looks different than I thought She would, not scary but mischieveous. I am having not such a bad Samhain time this year. I feel cosey and looked after and dealing with diffulties when I can and then letting them go and just trying to accept them when I can't.
Last Saturday Mitja and I went into town to get some groceries and stumbled across an exhibition of Dia de Muertos and La Catrina, the mexican tradition of honouring the Dead by setting up colourful altars for them. I was delighted at the sights, the tables were decorated with paperflowers in shining colours, photographs, food, alcohol, skulls, skeletons, sugar skulls, skull candles, bone shaped cakes and loads more. They even had an altar to honour Frieda Kahlo there, which made me quite happy because I admire her. Besides all of the things mentioned above it was decorated with lots of little photographs and prints of her paintings. A mexican lady explained all the decorations to me, how the Day of the Dead is celebrated in Mexico, how the sugar skulls are given to children, how nobody touches the food on the altars, because their scent is food to the Dead (there was one chicken dish wich they served their Deceased with a sauce made from hot chilies and chocolate!) and also how important Frida Kahlo ist to the mexican people until today. I loved the colours and the vivid energy of the altars. Such a different way from our celebrations at Samhain, Allerseelen and Totensonntag.

The trees have nearly lost their leaves now. When I crossed the Rhine a few days ago, the Seven Mountains were hidden in the mist, the water soft blue and the sky white, blue and pink. It looked totally enchanted. It was very quiet also, because many people who usually walk their dogs and go jogging by the Rhine had stayed in, because it was so cold.

Two days ago while I was working, I suddenly heard a marching band outside. We all left our descs and went to the window, and there were children walking candle-lit paper laterns through the streets. Here in this catholic place they claim it has to do with St. Martin, they even have somebody in a wannabe Roman uniform on horse, rding ahead. But I think it's a pagan thing, come down to us from Samhain lighting lanterns in the darkening season and possibly from making lanterns from beets to either scare away hostile presences or to light the way home to benign ones.
When I cycled home later I saw that many houses and shops had hung out illuminated paper lanterns outside their windows and placed candles in their flowerpots. It looked so beautiful and so pagan.

I love how this is living folklore, autumn is over, winter is beginning, and soon the Wheel will turn towards Yule. I have made fruit bread and christmas buiscuits and Bratäpfel, and in town they are putting up the Christmas decorations.

Samhain Blessings

2011-11-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

Samhain is one of the most important festivals in the year of the Goddess. It is celebrated on the night of the 31st October. This is a night out of time, where the veils between this world and the Otherworld are thin and the gates are open. It is a night out of time. The old year has died and the new one hasn't yet begun. It is a time where spirits can travel between the worlds and our ancestors are among us. I always put a candle in the window, so my ancestors find their way to me. Samhain is the beginning of winter, of the dark season, a time of introspection and it is the season of the Dark Mother, when the Goddess takes on Her face of Crone and Bringer of Death. In Avalon we honour Keridwen, Keeper of the Cauldron of Transformation. It is good time to realease old things, that no longer serve us or Her. In Her cauldron everything is transformed.

I went to a Samhain celebration in Bonn. Mitja was lovely enough to drive me there. It is so sweet of him. We went in silence through the darkness until we came to an old cemetary set inside some woods. People had lit candles on the tombs and it looked beautiful. I was afraid there might be teenangers somewhere on the cemetary drinking beer, it was Halloween after all, but we encountered nobody. We then cast the circle, called the Goddess, the elements and the ancestors to be with us. We then remembered the loved ones we have lost since last Samhain and remembered all the nameless Deceased who have died in war and in nature catastrophes in the last 12 months. And then we gave them a blessing on their journey and sang for them to help their souls find their way onwards. I think that is such a lovely thing to do, to say goodbye to the ones you love and set them free to go, and also to sing for the ones that nobody sang for.

This is what I like to sing for them:
Buzzard call you back to the wild land
Heron fly you home
Journey to the soul of your own land
Where the Mothers wait for your return
Heron fly you home
Carolyn Hillyer

I hope when I die one day, I'll have a huge family, which sits around my bed and that they will sing this for me to help me on my journey back to the Source.

We then lit more candles for the Souls and then left in silence.
Back home we honoured our ancestors. First we did a meditation journeying into a cave to meet the heritage of our ancestors, seeing what was theirs and not ours, what had been insignificant to them but was meaningful to us, leaving and offering and receiving a gift. We travelled to the land of our ancestors and I firstly wondered whether I should go to eastern Germany or to western France. I found myself on a rocky coastland with grey skies above, and neolithic tombs. I knew I was in the West, to the East lay the whole of the continent, which was all the land of my ancestors and to the West lay many islands, which were also the home of my anceszors. When I pondered the islands I felt the wind and heard some keys of a harp. Then the baby started hopping around madly in my belly and I felt "Is this where you came from?" Am I having a celtic baby? I realise that there is no question whether the land of my ancestors is either France or Germany. It is all Europe, I've known that before, but the link that helped me see and understand them as really connected as one in this meditation, were the standing stones. I have visited so many standing stones in Brittany and Western France and loved them so much, and it never seemed to be meaningful to me that the Lüneburger Heide and the Altmark, the areas that surround my mum's house where I grew up are the areas of Germany with the most remaining megalithic formations.
Then we journeyed through the elements acknowledging the parts of our heritage we were proud of and the ones that made us cry. It was very powerful.
After a delicious feast we closed the circle.

It was a beautiful ceremony, I was really happy to keep the focus on the ancestors. In Avalon I think we might probably have focused on releasing and rebirthing, and that is very powerful and important as well, but I miss doing ceremonies to honour the elements or in this case the ancestors, without hoping for something for myself. We do so many ceremonies where we want a special outcome, a healing experience, or something similar, I feel serving is also just tending the elements, honouring the ancestors, the Moon, the Sun, anything really with maybe moving the focus away from ourselves and back to the practice.
Having said that, a day before I had already done my own ceremony to honour Keridwen, and to release my old destructive patterns and ways of thinking into Her cauldron. I'd feel very rude if I didn't honour Her apropriately. Since my birthday is merely 8 days gone I consider Her to be my special guardian.

Come and taste of the cauldron's brew
Magic She will give to you
You will dance in the eye of the storm
You're Keridwen's children
The cauldron-born
(Damh the Bard)

Mitja found the coin in the fairy cake. I had made special pumpkin fairy cakes for the occasion and baked a coin into one. That is a very good omen for our family abundance in the coming year. I found it very hard to articulate an intention for the coming year, seeing as I have no idea how becoming a mother will change my life. So I have just planted the seed of love. My intention is to spread the love, love my family and myself. Then I brought Mitja some hot spiced apple juice and read my belly the chapter on Keridwen and Morgen La Fey in Luna Moon Hare. And then the sun set, the day of Samhain ended and the new year began. Blessings of Love and Growth to all, may this new year be the best yet.

Come with your depth and your ageless wisdom
Come with a cake and a warming brew
Carolyn Hillyer

Birthday Weekend

2011-10-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday I turned 31. I think in the 31 years of my life this is the third time I can remember it being sunny on my birthday :-) And I had such a lovely time. Mitja took Freyas Day and Moon Day off and popped to the North for a very short trip to see my family on my birthday. We didn't do anything in particular on the Friday. Mitja offered to bake me an apple cake for my birthday, and because I couldn't decide which one I wanted he made me two. He is so incredibly loving.

Oh how lovely they were. We had one of them right then on the Friday.

On the Saturday my mum and I drove up to Magdeburg for a family celebration. My mum's cousin and his wife, my uncle and aunt, celebrated their 70th birthday. I don't get to see too much of my family so it was really lovely to be there. I even met some relatives I hadn't ever met before, only heard my mum talk about them. Her other cousin lives in Budapest with his son and lovely lovely wife. I liked them alot and Mama invited them over next year for her own 70th birthday. It's gonna be quite a big, international party!

On Sunday we had a lovely birthday breakfast. My older brother couldn't be there, but my younger was, and I was really glad to be with my family.

Where I sat at the breakfast table with the candle of the light of my life. Mama decorated my place with flowers and leaves from the garden. She does every year. I love it. That's why I go home. Nothing is as wonderful as having your mum look after you.

And this year I had my partner with me as well. How blessed am I.
We didn't have any lunch: We went for a walk instead. With my pregnancy it wasn't a very long walk, but the weather was so gorgeous we just enjoyed being out so much. We found the most beautiful apple tree by the side of a field and picked some apples and ate straight away. I wish we could have picked more to take home, they were delicious and I could have made them into yet another cake :-) I love apples. They are the sacred fruits of the Goddess and as I was born in the season when they are ripe they always make me feel extra blessed by the Lady. Also I can't think of any way in which apples aren't tasty. They are lovely in juice, in cider, fresh, cooked in compot, in apple sauce, in cakes, in pies, in pancakes, in savoury dishes, with pork or chicken, dried and in so many more ways! Thankyou Goddess for your wonderful fruit!

Then we had cake and coffee! Vally was there as well, and brought an other cake, this one with chocolate and nuts and creme and egg liqueur. So we enjoyed all!

My birthday cake. Mitja cut the central aple into the shape of a heart. Did I mention how much I love him?

And then we gathered by the fire place and spend some time chatting, reading and playing cards, while Mama had a little nap. But of course we weren't done eating! Mitja and I had cooked a pumpkin soup earlier in the day from one of the pumpkins from my mum's garden. She is the Green Goddess and harvests the most beautiful fruits and vegetables every year! The pumpkin was delicious.

The dinner table.

Vally couldn't stay for much longer after dinner, so we spent the rest of the day by the fire place, just the four of us: Mitja, Mama, Malte and I. And the little fairy in my womb who kept hopping and dancing, causing funny little bulges on the outside of my belly. Mama and I watched and felt her doing that for about an hour.
So, that was my birthday, very calm and quiet and more delicios food than we could manage!

The next day after two more meals with the family and a stroll through my mum's garden, Mitja and I went back to Bonn. We took the rest of the pumpkin with us to Bonn. It's huge. I have so far made another pumpkin soup, for when Mitja's step dad visited us on Wednesday, I have just made 7 glasses of super duper pumpkin marmelade, and there's still so much left that I'm planning to make a pumkin cake tomorrow for the Samhain ceremony on Moon Day evening. I don't know if I'll have used it up then. But I can't let the Mother's (Mother Earth's and Mama's) gifts go to waste! And I love cooking.

My lovely Mum and I in her garden.

I had such a lovely time in the North. It's about 7 weeks until Yule when I go back. Can't wait!

Autumn

2011-10-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

Ah I have had such a lovely quiet autumn! I have not been working for three weeks, but instead taken my time to reconnect with friends, to continue my studies about the Goddess and to be creative. Here is my Autumn Equinox Altar to Banbha/Nerthus the Mother of Earth:

I have been working on this painting for three years, She was very difficult to capture. The wonderful Dana and I have also completed another card which you can purchase on my etsy shop. It is a Yule Card showing Perchta the Shining One, but maybe you'd also like to check out my Samhain Card of Nolava the Crone

While I was painting Banbha I felt the energy change. It got really cold, crispy and clear, very wintery. The veil between the worlds thins, and Samhain is here, the beginning of winter. I made a few necklaces, this is the one I made for Keridwen, the Dark Mother, the Crone, the Great Transformer:

The Skydisc of Nebra and the Solar Observatory of Goseck

2011-10-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

My mum and I went on a little pilgrimage into the past. For years I have been following the discovery and presentation to the public of the Skydisc of Nebra.

This Bronze Age disc dates back to 1600 BCE and shows the night sky viewed from Sachsen-Anhalt. It shows the full moon, the crescent moon and the Plejades, as well as 25 more stars. This depicts the points in the agricultural year of sowing and of the harvest. The two golden bands (one is lost) show the angle of the sun rise and sun set at the Winter and Summer Solstice. At the bottom there is a boat, which in Bronze Age mythology is quite often depicted. In mythology it often carries the sun across the sky.
I love this piece.
So on sunday we went to the Interpretation Centre, where there is a nice presentation in a planetarium about what secrets the skydisc holds, but apart from that it wasn't very interesting to me. It seems to be rather set up to entertain families with children, then to address a scientifically interested audience. I didn't mind though, since my mum and I have studied the skydisc and knew pretty much all about it before.
We then took a shuttle bus up to the top of the Mittelberg, where treasure hunters found the skydisc in 1999. It is a lovely place, we walked through a beautiful autumn forest for about 500 metres until we reached the summit. They have cleared the summit from trees when they excavated it, and there is a ring-shape earthen wall which was built in the Iron Age. We walked through an opening gap in the wall and visited the Skymirror, a little monument to mark the exact spot, where the disc was found. I like the connection, the Skydisc in the eart mirroring the nightsky above, and now that the disc is in the museum in Halle the Skymirror has taken it's place and mirrors the sky day and night.

The Sky Mirror

There is a really ugly tower which you can climb, and from the tower there are concrete markers lain out on the ground pointing you to where the sun sets and rises at various points of the year, several of them aligned with other sacred mountains and hills, like the Brocken and the Kyffhäuser. We didn't climb it, becauser we didn't have much energy left and were still to go to the solar observatory of Goseck!

This woodhenge monument consists of two concentric palisades with openings aligned, again, to the directions of the sunrise and sunset at the Winter Solstice, Summer solstice and other meaningful times. It is about 7000 years old and it is surrounded by a wall and a ditch.

Mama standing on the wall, overlooking the beautiful peaceful monument our ancestors created in neolithic times.

The wall and ditch

Sunset seen through one of the openings

It was lovely. Because it was so late when we arrived there was nobody there and we had the whole sacred space to ourselves. It is a wonderful place. It has only recently been discovered and excarvated, and it was ceremonially opened at the Winter Solstice 2007. I left an offering of dried rose petals, lavender and herbs, honoring the ancestors and saying a prayer. The sun was setting gloriously while my mum and I were inside the circle and exploring the surroundings.

Autumn Equinox

2011-09-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

It seems the little person is making me turning back towards myself. I am very grateful for this. For so long I have spent my lif doing things, creating and manifesting things, scheming and working for things, also achieving things, but I have at the same time frighteningly forgotten to nurture myself. The upmost thing I did to treat myself, was lying in bed for a while reading a novel. For me this was a big improvement, since I havn't read any novels while I was in Uni, only books on my subject. I have now realised that I have not done any of the things I wanted to treat myself to. I havn't done the scuba diving course I wanted to do, I haven't gone back to dancing class, I have for several years not taken the singing classes I was going to take, and I have postponed taking up Yoga again for 12 years now! I can't believe I have actually for 12 years believed there were reasons why I couldn't go back to Yoga now, I was always going to do it sometime soon.
Now I'm doing Yoga for pregnant ladies, and I love it. It's so good to do Yoga again. Even though this is of course different from the Yoga I did when I was 18, I still find it exhausting. My beautiful friend Graell reminded me that I am growing a human inside, so I guess I'm ok. I'm loving the Yoga Class.

I have been struggling with severe headaches since the Goddess Conference and I know that these are drawing my attention to how imbalanced a life I have been leading. I love how I am taking time for myself again now, paying attention to a better diet and making sure that I give myself the time to be with the Lady in meditation, in song and in the dreamtime. Working with the energy of the autumn equinox I have realised which parts of my life need to be nourished more and my friend, the wonderful Elaria, has helped me a lot with this, sharing her wisdom as a mother with me, and elped me to truly understand, that this is not the time to work to achieve things, but to do things with curiosity and joy, and not because the serve a purpose.

I am so grateful for the gentle changes that are happening and all the healing I receive. Belinda facilitated a beautiful Mabon ceremony by the Rhine, where we were giving thanks for the harvest in our lives.

Harvest Altar at the Autumn Equinox

That evening really marked a home-coming for me, coming home to myself. I am so grateful to my baby, for pulling me back inside. She is now very active, dancing and hopping around a lot inside her happy ocean womb. I sing to her evryday and Mitja and I love feeling her little movements.

The Mother at Lammas

2011-09-06T23:08:00.000-07:00

As the Wheel turns and we are approaching the Festival of the Autumn Equinox, where we celebrate Banbha, the Mother of Earth, who is Hertha/Nerthus in Germany, and the Harvest Mother Tanfana, I realise I am somehow still waiting for the Lammas energy to arrive. It feels like we've gone straight from Domnu into Banbha. I was planning to paint the Great Mother Goddess in her season, when the days would be hot and golden, when the sunlight would seem endless and I'd go cycling through Her crop fields, watching Her golden hair spread over the land in the summer.
Instead ist's been cold and rainy and gray and dark.
So it is time to find the Mother not outside, but within. What a joy, since I am pregnant with my first child. At my beautiful Blessing Way ceremony in Avalon, facilitated by my friend, the wonderful Katinka Soetens, the women looked at me and they SAW the Goddess. What a humbling experience. I am now in my 18th week, can't yet feel my baby moving, but am showing very much. I love it. I can't wait to be a mother. I am so looking forward to having my baby. At the same time this seems to be a time of facing the fact that I will eventually have to let my own mother go, and that this is killing me. I want to be a mother, that doesn't mean I don't need to be my mother's daughter anymore. I need my own mum. I am very much walking a path of light and darkness at the same time right now. I can't do much except for sitting with what is and letting my baby and my mum know how much I love them. Maybe the Equinox will help me accept and find balance.
I am still planning to paint the Great Mother Goddess. And as my baby grows and as I change and experience the Mother Goddess on a whole new level the idea I have of this painting will change until I will eventually paint it.

The central altar at my Blessing Way Ceremony.

The ceremony was incredibly beautiful. It gave me so much strength and when the women sang a beautiful song by Sally Pullinger for me, I felt transformation happen.

Freya's Fire

2011-05-04T01:40:00.000-07:00

Today I can feel life's energy stirring within. I am full of ideas. I want to paint Freya and also a painting of Mother Nolava is shaping up in the back of my head. I also want to facilitate a workshop on Isis and I want to plan and create right now. But I'm off to work, so it'll have to wait just a little longer. On the other hand I very often come up with some really good ideas during work, note them down and that is valuable progress also.
I am going to facilitate a Beltane Ceremony on Saturday evening though. On the actual eve of Beltane Mitja and I went camping, so we did a very beautiful ceremony together, calling in the Lover Goddess, honouring each other, sending love out into the world and sharing May Wine. The event on Saturday is open to everyone. We will be celebrating the Lover Goddess Freya, Loreley and Rhiannon. We'll be celebrating our own sensuality and sexuality, we'll be calling in the Lover Goddesses of the world, we'll find the Lover within, we'll walk the Labrynth and we'll give thanks for the Love in our lives. There'll be drumming and singing and jumping the fire!
We'll meet at the Bus Stop Casselsruhe at 5pm. Minimum donation is 12/15€. If you want to come please let me know here or on facebook (look for Freyas Feuer) so I can get an ideas of numbers. Blessings of the Lady of Beltane xxx

Growth and Manifestation

2011-04-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm in a funny place. I feel how change is happening very deep down inside the core of things, while on the outside not much seems to be happening. I'm between trust and impatience, excitement and a feeling of failure, and at the same time I feel deeply connected to the Lady. I know that everything is in the flow, I see my life being full of love and joy and laughter, creativity, frienship and connection. And I know some of the things I want but haven't achieved yet, will manifest in time, and many more wonderful things I am not even dreaming of will come as a lovely surprise.
I've spent the last few weeks writing on the German Wheel of the Goddess, researching many of HER beautiful faces and names, connecting deeper to the Goddess heritage of my homeland. While the trees were blossoming in all their spring glory I lay on the meadow, reading and typing away. Mitja and I left some offerings of coloured eggs for Ostara on the day of the Spring Equinox, calling in fertility, growth and love.

We made Holle's plaits and and read the dialogues of Inanna and Dumuzi to each other. On the morning of Easter I went to the brook to drink some water in the morning sun, always calling in growth, creativity, fertility and abundance. Life is peaceful and quiet.

I'm hoping hoping hoping to get a positive response from one of the publishing houses soon. I love to write and it would be a dream fulfilling if I could one day live off being a writer. This is what I want.

The Healing Process

2011-03-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

The time is moving so quickly! I have had a very interesting time of Quickening with Bridie and of walking my truth with Skadi. When I had my Saturn Return I wanted to leave behind fear that causes me to make choices which don't support me on my own path to Truth and Happiness, but choices which seem to keep me safe, mostly following other people's fears and expectations. Having called in healing and liberation and change everyday I have at the same time tried to hold on to the same false security which suffocates me and takes my energy and makes me waste my time, living in fear, trying to fulfil expectations which don't nurture me. The fear to end up on the street and in poverty is so strong in me that I have never dared to be brave to live my dreams. And because all those plans which I try to follow to lead to safety and security never work out for me, because they were made by other people and for other people. They are like garments that just don't fit me.
So I struggle and I fail.
Goddess has such a strong way to draw attention to the things which aren't right for us. She has been telling me for six weeks to stop following somebody else's plan, and that I don't need a plan, that I just need to start living my life!
After a car accident, a break-in into the car I borrowed to use while the other car is at the garage, since repairing it seems to take forever, and investing a hell of an amount of money which I don't have I have now decided to give this job up. I have never so clearly experienced being kept from doing something (working at the school). I did enjoy it, but I'd rather get out before something worse happens to me.
So the message is clear. I am to believe in myself and to use the gifts I have been given, to listen to my own heart and to spend my life doing the things I love, instead of doubting myself and trying to be a person that I am not.
A huge and scary thing. I hope one day this prospect stops feeling scary, but natural.
So I love writing, painting, singing and the Goddess. I will do these things from now on without feeling guilty because they won't support me. I will do them because I feel half dead when I don't do them.

By the Rhine I did a ceremony today to let these old fears go and to be reborn, into my new life, to be reborn to truly be the woman and priestess I can be.
I ask for your blessings, Great Goddess, be with me on this path and help me. I feel deep gratitude for my partner and family who accept and love me the way I am. Bless my new life Lady, and let me be free!

The last days

2011-03-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

I start to shop for souvenirs. I walk through the Souk everyday on my way to school, listening to my music and ignoring all that's being said to me. Eventually I manage to enjoy the colours and the scents of incence and of the spices again.

Two boys on a donkey on their way to the harvest in the sugar cane fields.

A well deseved break.

Playing

The school organizes a trip to Abydos and Dendera and I spend a lovely day with Hathor. The tour guide is not great. I know more about the gods and goddesses and the history of the pharaohs than he does, and I havn't even studied Egyptology. I leave Sofia, Alice and Paolo to talk to him and wonder of by myself. I see the kings list of Abydos and some beautiful depictions of Nut in Dendera. As I said before, I don't usually think much of anything later than 18th Dynasty, but I like the temple at Dendera. I know there is a relief of Kleopatra VII with her son Cesarion and I find it eventually. I have never been intrigued by Kleopatra before, but now that I stand before this testamony to the last great Queen I suddenly think that I want to know more about her. This will be a lovely subject to study when I'm back home. I also like the Sacred Lake. Other than the lake in Karnak this one is dry, it seems more like a palm tree garden, and it is very beautiful. The whole complex of Hathor's temple at Dendera is very beautiful. Currently there is conservatory work being done on it, and I can imagine, when everything is bright and clean again.

A beautiful Nut in Abydos.

With Isis outside the temple of Sethos I at Abydos.

I at one of Hathor's chapels in Dendera.

The Gang.

Back out in the sunlight.

In my last week I go back to the Theban Mountains on my own and spend a very happy day there exploring. I walk into Saff tombs and into other tombs, crouching down and crawling in through openings. I find bones and mummy wrappings, and bones with bitumen und resin and stuff on it, and cones. Nothing is worth anything, but I still leave everything in place. I'm a bit disappointed because I don't know whose tombs they are or which archaeological mission has the concession of them, but there's nothing I can do. I watch the sun set in Deir el-Bahari and say goodbye to Hatshepset. I'm very tired that evening, covered in dust and my shoes are beyond cleaning, but they weren't meant to come back home to Germany with me in the first place, and I am very happy. It was a great day in the Theban Mountains. As much as Luxor and modern day Egypt annoys me, as much do I love the Western Mountain and the timelessness there.

A ghafir at the mortuary temple of Sethos I in Dra' Abu el Naga pushed me up the ruins. I managed to tell him that I'm scared of heights in arabic!!! He wanted us to climb up even further, but I had enough.

Looking into one of the tombs.

I am told that there is going to be an exam on my last day in school and it amuses me, since I am doing the course just for fun and don't need the exam for anything. I study and at the same time I send out applications for jobs and prepare for interviews, which I hope to have when I'm back home. Sallam thinks I will have 100 per cent in my exam and I do, and I feel like I'm Hermione Granger. I hope I will manage to fit continuing to study Arabic into my busy schedule back home.
While I enjoy my last days in Luxor and count down the days to go home I hear about the uprising in Tunisia and the reactions in Cairo and Suez. I get emails from friends and family back home, asking me to be careful. I can see no reactions in Luxor, everything is as quiet and calm as always.
Of course I spend my last evening on the roof watching the sun set above the Theban Mountains, and the temple standing there, as grand and as silent as always.
I can't wait to come home to my lovely man.

Cultural differences, studying and a day off in he Theban Mountains

2011-02-06T02:28:00.000-08:00

One day during the teabreak I fix myself a cuppa and somehow manage to bang my head against the bookshelf in the corner. It isn't too bad. When the lesson ends and I leave the classroom the lovely Eugenia sits at the manager's desk holding a cold waterbottle against her face, cooling her eye. It turns out, she banged her head against the same bookshelf. While I only have a small lump on my forehead for a few days, Eugenia's eye turns dark purple and blank. We walk to the cash point together and the moment we leave school, a young Egyptian man materializes and starts: 'Hello. How arrrrrre you. What happened to your face?' 'I hit somebody who hussled me in the street', Eugenia answers, but sadly he doesn't believe us.
A few days later I lose my temper and raise my voice, telling a man in the street not to call me Sweety or Honey, that I am not his darling. He thinks I need to relax. I explain to him that he is being rude, but I leave it there, because they just don't get it and I'm just wasting my time.
The food at Affaf's is as good as it was at her sister's. The one thing I don't understand is that in the bathroom, there is neither any loo paper nor a suspicious looking tube. Yet I hear the family use the bathroom. I decide not to ponder too long on this. Since I have paid a lot of money to stay with a family I think they should provide loo paper, but I'm tired of asking for things. So I nick a role of loo paper from the school. I have my own loo paper now, and I'm not going to share it. The family can … do whatever they do in the bathroom.
Affaf has two very lovely daughters. The older one, Abla, speaks English very well. The younger one, Abia doesn't, but we still get by with smiles and single english and arabic words. She also wears a pyjama all day, and Affaf puts a nightgown on, when she gets in, even if she has to go out again a few hours later. Abia doesn't even get changed when she goes out to get some bread. Now I notice that all the little girls in the streets run around in their pyjamas all day. I ask Affaf, why they bother with long hair at all if they wrap themselves up all day. She explains to me that the women want to be beautiful for their husbands. „The most important person to like your hair is your husband“, she says. I disagree. I think the most important person to like her hair is she herself. But I realise I have given up on exchanging opinions.

Affaf and Abia

Sallam asks me, at what age women in Germany get pregnant, and why they don't have babies immediately after their wedding. I tell him women want to work. He doesn't understand that. He tells me so.'Why?', he asks. 'Because they enjoy it', I answer, 'they can chose what they want to work, who they want to marry, when they want to marry and when they want to have babies. They have choices.' He is convinced that women in Germany don't want to get married and don't want a family. 'That's not what I said', I answer, 'they do. Only they want other things as well. They want more.' 'That is very bad', Sallam says, 'I hope women here never think like that'. Of course you do, I think, but like so many times I stay silent. I wonder if he considers me a potential hazard now, who could wonder off and start putting dangerous ideas into their women's minds any time. I allow myself an evil smile by myself, but I know that I wouldn't achieve anything, even if I did want to put ideas into women's minds here. They think along the same lines like the men.

Many times I get annoyed. In this blog I don't write about the attitude of the Egyptian men and about how rude they are towards European women anymore, about the many run-ins I have with Sallam or about how it upsets me how Europeans are systematically being being ripped off, because I fear that this would turn into a very negative blog. My Arabic lessons become more and more demanding. I feel like a vessel that Sallam piles loads and loads of stuff into and even though I feel I'm full to the brim and can't take on any more, he still keeps pushing in more. I spend the afternoons with the Italian girls studying. We take the ferry to the westbank to sit in a garden café or we sit on the roof. It is very noisy up there and the smell of the Shisha that everybody around us seems to be smoking is not great. But the food and drinks are lovely and the view is so worth it, especially when the sunset paints the sky above the Theban Mountains pink. I love those mountains. The next Friday I take the Italian students onto a walk along the Western Mountains to help them make a connection to the land. We take the path up from Deir el-Medina and then along the ridge above the the tombs of the Nobles, take a peep into the Valley of the Kings and then come down around Hatshepsut's temple in Deir el-Bahari. It's good to spend a day in the sun, feeling the warmth and the dust on my skin and link in with Hatshepsut. I feel a strange connection to Hatshepsut, in a sort of female line/ancestorial way, and always have. I love her for her strength and her uniqueness, for her divineness, the daughter of Amun, who ruled as Pharao, and for her humanity, the woman who loved her country and her consort, Senmut. I love her temple and am very touched everytime I pass it.
I draw the attention of my friends to the beauty of the Theban Mountains, to all the tombs and to the fossilized shells from such a very long time ago, back when desert was an ocean. The immensity of the planet we live on, of life and of time makes me feel very much alive and connected to the whole world.

Paolo, Eugenia, I and Elisabeta

I at Deir el-Bahari, Hatshepsut's temple at the back

Moni and I at the restaurant after our landscape walk

Rain

2011-01-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

One afternoon as I walk to school I feel something wet hit my face. I think I might be walking underneath somebody's balcony where they've put their washing out, but as I look up and check there is no balcony above me. All over town I ocasionally feel wet driplets on my face. There s nothing to be seen on the ground and I think, aha, so this is what you'd call rain in Egypt. In Germany I wouldn't even have noticed, but here it stands out, I think.
About one hour later I step onto the school's balcony. It is actually heavily raining! There are puddles in the street and I watch one clever Egyptian take the opportunity and wash his motorbike.
When I walk home after my belly dance class, the rain has stopped. It is quite cold and the streets are unusually empty. The town has changed. I see a few men still sitting outside cofee shops smoking their Shishas, but the usual crowd of people who just hangs out in the streets is gone, and so are the sweets sellers, the caleches, the taxis and the beggars. I take my time walking home, thoroughly enjoying being able to stroll down the streets without being hussled. The temple is still illuminated and I suspect that in the rain they might not have bothered switching the lights off which they usually do around nine. Maybe the rain has confused them so much that they forgot what they normally would have done. I can't believe my luck and take some spectacular shots of the pylon reflected in the puddle. At least I think they're spectacular. The stupid idea of this coffee table book is stuck in my head and I curse myself for it, because that's always how it starts... you have one good idea and then you end up organising a Conference... I shouldn't have thought that... now I'm thinking, surely putting together a coffee table book about Luxor temple must be a lot easier than that was?

Luxor Temple after the rain

After one week I move house. I don't want to leave, because I like Mona, Sayid and Zahwa, and at the same time I'm glad to go. At Affaf's, which is where I am staying now, there is a proper bathroom and I have my own bedroom. Sallam gives me a lot of homework everyday and it was too hard to keep up with things at Mona's. I couldn't study properly there, sharing a room where people kept going and out. Also because the family never went to bed before three o'clock in the mornings I also didn't sleep very well. It is very quiet at Affaf's. I spend the whole day on my homework and I don't know if this is because I am so tired or if I am so tired because I am studying all day. The first two nights I go to bed at 9:30 and sleep until 7:30. I'm amazed that I do manage to memorize all these words (or 'mommerize' as Sallam pronounces it) They either all sound the same and only differ in one letter, or they are so foreign to me that they are some meaningless syllables strung together and I go to lengths to find a suitable memory hook to remember them. But somehow my brain manages. I marvel at how my brain works, as if it wasn't part of me but something working on it's own accord, I have no idea how it does it, but I am thrilled that it does.

The Valley of the Queens

On Friday I rent a bike and cycle to the Valley of the Queens. It is a lovely warm sunny day and I am glad to be on my own. There are three tombs to be visited, two princes' and one queen's tomb, all 19th and 20th dynasty. The valley seems deserted, there are practically no visitors there and I take my time looking at the decorations. I am most interested in the depictions of the gods and goddesses. I see Sobek, Bastet, Thot, Osiris, Isis, Maat... and I have them all to myself. I am also getting really good at secretely taking photos. It's not allowed to take photos, but my conservator friend explained to me that there is no reason for this. The flash doesn't actually damage the decorations at all. I can't help myself though but think that the depictions of the goddesses are not as aesthetical and perfect as the ones of the 18th dynasty anymore. The proportions already start to look less graceful. I think that might be the heritage of the Armana style, when Akhenaton started to depict himself and his family a lot more natural then the pharaohs before him did. Or maybe this isn't my own clever conclusion, maybe I read that somewhere I can't remember. Anyway I think that the art of the ancient Egyptians had its peak in the 18th dynasty. Just look at the tombs of Ramose and Sennefer and at Hatshepsut's mortuary temple!

Abu El-Haggag Mosque

2011-01-20T05:24:00.000-08:00

One evening Affaf takes us to visit the Abu El-Haggag mosque. It is the oldest mosque in Luxor, and it sits right on top of the Amun temple. It was built when the ruins of the temple were covered by Nile mud. There is a catholic church close to the temple, run by Italian franciscan monks. When Eugenia, Paolo and I visited it, the monk told us that the first franciscan church was also built on the temple ruins, without them knowing that there was a great temple of Amun Re beneath it. When the temple was excavated the catholic church was moved to where it is now. The mosque was allowed to stay. Since I frankly just cannot be interested in everything in the world, I never bothered finding out much about Abu El-Haggag, but I do know that he is some sort of patron of Luxor. So the mosque is still there. The coptic church however will probably have to move anytime soon.

The altar of the Franciscan church

The altar of the Coptic church Santa Maria

Weird looking nativity set and dirty bikes in some corner in front of the Coptic church

The out side of the Coptic church

It is situated behind the temple above the sphynged alley. The great temple complex of Karnak is about three kilometres from the Amun temple in Luxor. In pharaonic times the two temples were connected by an avenue of sphynxes. A few of them have been restored and set up before the temples, with human heads in luxor and rams in Karnak. The rest of them lie under the town: In the course of millenia Nile mud, sand, dust and litter have accumulated above them and thus formed what is the ground level of modern day Luxor. One or two years ago however it was decided that the Sphynx alley was to be excarvated to make Luxor more attractive to tourists. So far I haven't met anybody who was happy about it. After all, there is a town above it and in the course of the excarvations, everything that's built on the course of the Avenue ist simply being torn down, including houses, mosques and churches. And my archaeologist friends told me the excarvations aren't even conducted properly, but without the necessary documentations. Aparently, since they know where the avenue is, they simply clear away all that's above it and litterally dig the sphynxes up. And since the coptic church is on that course, it seems likely that it will have to go, too. I don't know who's in charge of this excarvation, but since they have the power to remove buildings, I guess it's the egyptian government. The lady giving us the tour was very upset about it. She kept saying „This building is 102 years old!“ I couldn't help thinking, „Well, that's 102 years against 4000... not a chance.“

The Sphynged Avenue leading up to the Amun Temple

When we come to the mosque, we have to cover our hair, so Affaf helps us wind our scarfs around our faces like the Arabian women. We all giggle and take photos. Later Affaf and her sister Mahida, who also teaches at the school, tell us how beautiful we look and again I smile, wondering by myself whether they think something along the lines of „Finally they are dressed decently“. Outside the mosque in a corner there is a group of maybe 30 men, singing. One of them is singing words on a tune, while the others rhythmically sing the name „Allah“ and clap their hands. Their eyes are closed and they sway from side to side. It sounds lovely and the men look blissed out. I wonder whether we could somehow work with that in the Goddess movement and start thinking about a song, which we could use for a sort of trancey experience like that. Meditiation through song, rhythm, movement... it works for me, to feel the divine in my body. I love it actually. We stay quite a while, sitting in a circle on the floor, watching them.
When Affaf takes us into the mosque we see the tomb of Abu El-Haggag. I am more interested in the bits of temple masonary that have been built into the mosque. I walk around and I see that the mosque actually sits on a much higher level than the temple, and I remember that Affaf told us it was built when the temple was hidden under Nile mud. In the men's prayer hall a fries of pharaos runs along the length of the wall, the women's prayer hall is built into the first court of papyrus pillars. I can actually touch the chapters and I love it. I love how the architecture of the new and the old blend into each other. I love seeing the cartouches of the pharaoh's names in this islamic house of prayer. I don't see many reliefs that have been chiselled out, and I wonder whether, if I could read hieroglyphs, I could find the name of Amun somewhere in the mosque. Or Isis even?
I like the mosque a lot. All the pharaoh's added to the temple in praise of Amun and at the same time securing their own immortality. To me the mosque is just like that. Amun and Allah are but different names for the one Source and Abu Al- Haggag added to the temple complex, ensuring his own memento in the process, just like Amenophis III, Hatschepsut, Tuthmosis III and all the others.
I'm having an utterly lovely time in the mosque. I take some photos of the pillars and the giant statues, only now my perspective standing by the mosque is that I'm looking down to them. It's fantastic. More photos of Luxor temple for my coffee book table.
When we leave the mosque the girls and I start a little experiment. We keep the scarfs on as we walk back to the school to see if we're still being hussled as much. There is singing and drumming in front of a photo studio and Affaf explains to us that it's a wedding, and the couple is having their picture taken inside. We stop and watch a little and suddenly four young girls come up to us, smiling. They want to talk to us, which has never happened before, the girls have never approached us before. They want to know our names and whether we're muslimas. I'm fascinated of how easy it is to set up a barrier between women, but also how easy it is to build a bridge. When we tell them that we're not they seem a bit disappointed, but still interested. They don't speak english though and my arabic is not yet fit for a conservation. So I give them a smile and wave at a taxi. I go home.

Monika, Elisabetta, Sophia, Alice and I

Top of one pillar of the temple integrated into the architecture of the mosque

View from the mosque down into the temple court

The Amun Temple of Luxor

2011-01-18T02:15:00.000-08:00

When I excavated in Egypt the exotic language was one of several things that made the whole time a magical one. Now that I am among linguists there is nothing but the language and after one week I admit to myself how bored I am. I don't get round to doing much but studying and I crave visiting a temple or even better a tomb and lose myself in the decorations. Also I have very little time to myself. In school, in the flat or in the cafés where I study there are constantly people around me. I promise myself a trip to the Westbank all by myself soon. The only monument on the East bank is the Amun Temple. I have probably walked around it one hundred times now and photographed every pillar of it. My favourite time with the temple is nighttime. It is beautifully illuminated in the dark. I am drawn to it again and again and my eyes wander up and down the mighty yet graceful pillars. The painted decorations on the lotos and papyrus chapters are long gone but the mere shapes are harmonic and beautiful. So is the pylon, the obelisk and sphynged avenue. The spectacular egyptian sunsets adds to the magic and last summer they have begun illuminating the western mountains at nighttime as well.

View from my roof top table over the temple as sunlight begins to fade and the night takes over

A bit later the same day: Luxor temple and the Theban mountains

Sunset fire sky above the Nile

I have taken so many photos of the temple that I could produce a coffee-table book. I sit on the rooftop and gaze over to the temple, the pink and orange sky and the illuminated mountains and contemplate how visual stimuli influence how I feel. The way the light is used as a tool to add to the beauty of the natural landscape and of the monument the ancient egyptians have created... I feel happy, at peace and connected to the people long past. And then the waiter turns the television on and all the magic is blasted away by the noise of advertisements and of piercing arabic popmusic. I pack up and flee.

Luxor impressions

2011-01-14T13:17:00.000-08:00

It is a weird stay. I am not a lover of today's Egypt. When I lived in the necropolis everyday was magical, the pharaohs alive and the ancient gods and goddesses among us. Now that I live on the East bank every day is noisy, busy and exhausting. The egyptian men are doing my head in. I can't walk anywhere without being shouted at. They want to offer a taxi ride or a caleche (a horse-carriage) but they don't speak english, so they just belch words: „Caleche!“ „Taxi, taxi!“ For some reason they leave the i the second time, so what they actually shout is „taxi, tax!“ I don't know who put that into their heads. Young men who don't seem to want to sell anything still jump at me to talk to me: „Hello! Rrrrrememberrr me?“ is a popular line to start, or „Nice to see you again“, even if I've never seen them before in my entire life. Another one is: „How arrrre you?“ Or: „“Where zit frrrrrom?“ I try to ignore them or just say „Shukran“, Thankyou, when I'm not sure if they do want to sell something or not. The next thing is that they want to know my name and if you make the mistake of answering they'll never leave you alone again. When I worked on the West bank we always ran like crazy through Luxor, when we had to get somewhere, never looked anybody in the eye and never answered. They also creep up from the side and whisper in your ear without any preamble: „Lovely“, „Yourrrrr a beautiful girrrl“ or „Nice ass“. It is fairly disgusting, it is the way they say it, and I'm sure they would never say that to egyptian women. I don't know if they're aware of how offensive they are. I just walk on, despising them. Sometimes they call after me: „You lost something!“ The first two times I fell for it. I turned around, and of course I hadn't lost anything. „Hello, how arrre you.“ Here we go again. I walk away. „Welcome to Alaska“, is another favourite line. I say this bluntly, but this is the way it is. Their behaviour makes me never want to go to Egypt again. I will come back though, of course, to visit the monuments, visit my archaeologist friends, renew my connection with Isis and do ceremony, but I'll never stay on the East bank again, and I'll keep away from people as much as possible. I'm sorry, but I didn't come here with this attitude, I react to what I experience here. I can't understand the many Europeans who get stranded here. I see them sitting in jewellery shops or other tourist-y shops in or near the souk, drinking tea and smoking. It would do my head in.

Christmas decorations on the Corniche? For lack of fir trees: fairy lights in a Bougainvillea tree.

Caleches on the Corniche

The women are not as bad. Most of them ignore me, if I have to ask for directions I always ask young women with babies, the are the nicest. Mostly they are very friendly give me the information I need and a smile and there is no problem whatsoever. But some of them want baksheesh and their opening line is „Sister, sister!“ When I hear that I start running. There's lots of dirty children in the streets who are trained to beg. I don't mind them as much as the grown ups, even though they are very persistant, grabbing my arm and continuing to beg, even though I tell them in arabic to stop it and that there will be no baksheesh. I give them pens though. I have tons of TUI pens left from when I worked for them and I brought them especially. I like to think that they go to school and use my pens there, that they get educated and that their children won't have to hussle Europeans in the streets.
Apart from the young men, the noise in Egypt is driving me crazy. Cars honking, motorbike engines, donkeys shouting, horse shoes on the tarmac, people shouting all the time. Men cycling through the streets trying to sell something and shouting out what they've got. The muezzin. The television which is constantly on. The televisions in all the coffeeshops and restaurants. Streets being torn open with jack hammers (and then left like that...?) things being fixed with loud clanking hammering noises, in the middle of a coffeeshop terrace in the middle of the afternoon in the middle of the customers. I marvel if the egyptian soul gets stressed when it gets too quiet. They take out their mobile phones in a restaurant while eating and chatting, put them on the table and have them play some music, which of course, coming from a mobile phone, sounds crap.

Here Germans have a reputation of being snobbish. But I am looking forward to walking down the streets without having to talk to a million people, but being able to chose who I want to talk to. I look forward to walking into a shop and deciding what I want and if I want to pay the stated price or not without being hussled. I look forward to people not trying to ripp me off all the time. Maybe I'm a snob.

Having said all that I should probably point out that at the same time I do like Luxor. I like the colours. I like watching the women, dressed in their layers, scarfs around their heads. I would LOVE to photograph them but I think it's something that's frowned upon. I like the vegetables, the spices, the blue of the Nile and the flowers in summer. I do like the way the neon lights are over the top. I used to even like the Souk, but I don't anymore. The hussle there is too much. I like crossing the Nile on the ferry and most of the time I like the muezzins. I absolutely love the taxis. There are different sorts of taxis, I always take the ones they call "microbusses" here. They are vans which go around in circle lines. There are places all around Luxor where they regularly stop, but you can go on and off anywhere else as well. Inside again I enjoy how over the top the decorations are: animal-faced hoods on the seats, colourful pictures on the ceiling, allovers and tussles. So I wait by the side of te street, put out my hand and wave at the taxi. Every trip on the East bank costs 50 piastres, sometimes the drivers want to rip me off, but I know the prize and it's a question of honour to make sure I get my change. It doesn't matter if 50 piastres are only 7 cents. You just hop on the taxi and then you get your money out. If you sit behind the driver you just hand it to him. If you sit further back you tip the person in front of you on the shoulder and they pass it on all the way to the driver along with the info of how many people you're paying for and then your change comes back the same way. For some reason this amuses me a lot, when the money hops from hand to hand upt to the driver. It reminds me of a game we played as children, where a fingerring was passed from one hand to the other and you had to guess in whose hand it was. I think there was a song with it, but I can't remember.

Microbus (what I call a taxi)on Television Street (that's not one of my names, it is really called that)

Inside one of the taxis

And there are even times when I like the noise in the streets, like above mentioned, sometimes I like the Muezzins. There are several mosques over Luxor, and when all the Muezzins chant it sometimes sounds really harmonious. Also I am always amused, when somebody calls at the house. Because the y literally do. There is no doorbell, and the door of the house is open. People just come in and then they knock on the door to the flat. If they don't want to come in bust just want to know something they just stand in front of the house and shout up to the balcony, they really do. And then Hamada puts his head out the window and sees what they want. Sometimes he puts his head out the window and shouts up to Bussi who lives above us. And sometimes Zahwa even put her head out of our window and shouted for Ahmed who was in the room next door, who then put his head out of that window and then they talked sort of around house because it was quicker than leaving the room and popping over to the next one.

Spices

Colours of Luxor: decoration in the streets

Colours of Luxor: street market in the Christian Quarter

Street in Luxor with the balconies, where people like to stand underneath and shout for the inhabitants.

Arabic lessons begin

2011-01-13T02:36:00.000-08:00

Zahwa believes that Ahmed is able to fix the computer anytime. She says he can do magic. In truth I have seen him successfully set it back up only one time. The internet in the flat doesn't work anymore, and Ahmed just pulls the cable and puts it back in. The next evening it is back. Wether this is due to his magic or whether this is just how it is in Egypt, I do not know.
The older of the two little girls who sang for me on the first evening comes back. Her name is Bussi. I'm sure it's spelled differently, but it just cracks me up. Bussi! How funny is that. She turns out to be magical Ahmed's godchild, and she loves him to bits. It's funny to watch. He seems to be a horrible big bossy brother to Zahwa, but he's sweet with Bussi. Bussi plays games with us, tells me stories and I don't know what and doesn't mind that I don't have a clue what she's on about. I seem to make perfect sense in her world. At the end of my first week Ahmed leaves the flat and goes back to Uni. I wonder if Bussi will still visit us.

Zahwa, Bussi and tiny girl

I have spoken to Affaf about the bathroom in the flat and she has promised to speak to her sister. I'm curious if something is going to be done about the bathroom, but I don't really think so. After the first week I still find the bathroom disgusting, but it doesn't upset me anymore. I think that I must have some really strong survivor-gens in me, who would have thought? I'm very pleased with this discovery.
As I finish the paragraph about the bathroom Bussi pops in, dances around the sitting room, sings me another song, plays her favourit game and disappears again. She's a tiny avalanche.
My arabic lessons start. My teacher, Sallam, is very pleased with me. I find it all a bit much: the letters, the sounds, the words. I knew a few of the letters before, so we got through the alphabet within one hour. He says that usually takes one week and now he thinks that I'm super intelligent, that I can remember immediately every word I have seen written once, can spell and write it from memory and also remember everything he tells me once about grammar. I want to learn as much as I can within these three weeks, so I am very ambitious and I study a lot and make every effort. To my surprise I understand and really remember the grammar bits and I do my best to memorize the words. Sallam likes to wind me up, when I can't remember a word or spell it wrong he pretends to be angry and disappointed. Then he tells me that I needed a third of the regular time to get to the point where I am now and that he thinks I'm an excellent student. I'm quite proud of myself but it also makes me laugh, because this has only just begun. I usually am good with things in the beginning, and then I get bored and I tend to leave at that point. This is the reason I have tried out many things but rarely really mastered something. I hope that three weeks are too short a time to get bored.
Sallam's english is interesting. Most of the time there's no problem. Sometimes however he teaches me words which don't exist, like apricok and I smile to myself when I finally find out that he talks about apricots, or he pronounces them so bizzarely that for two days I think one word means butter when it means bottle. It doesn't happen very often though. He is a bit of a macho. When he found out that I'm thirty and not twenty-four as he thought, and that that makes him only three years older than I, he got a little upset. It was the fact that his hair is turning grey and mine isn't, I think. I think he's a bit vain. What annoys me is that very often he doesn't understand my questions. The same happened in Uni many, oh MANY times, because I think too much, expect tings to be more difficult then they are, and teachers don't understand what my problem is. But this is annoying when met with his self-righteous/egyptian/maskuline macho bearing. Somebody else would not be bothered by this, but I am sensitive to these things. So I try to stay calm and not hold it against him, he's not the first teacher who knows no other way of reacting when he feels he's not in control anymore, because he doesn't understand his student. The thing is, this is an italian agency and his Italian is very good, according to the italian girls. So far I have managed to find out all I wanted to know and find the answers to my questions myself, which again makes me quite proud. And most of the time I get on well with Sallam. Anyway, in class I am doing alright with my arabic, but I don't see any progress in my spoken arabic at all. The family doesn't really speak much arabic with me, they get Zahwa to speak english with me. I decide that I will continue speaking in my broken arabic even if I'm tempted to just speak english and speed things up.

The Italian girls, Sallam, Hamada and English Jo on English Jo's last evening when we went for pizza.

First impressions

2011-01-10T12:34:00.000-08:00

I spend the next few days getting to know my way around. I meet the other students, Sophia, Alice Elisabetha and Monica from Italy and Joanne from England. I am the only beginner. Since Joanne is not a common name in Germany it's the first time I meet another Joanne, and it amuses me big time. She takes me to meet a friend of her, another Hamada, on the westbank, and we spend the day in the garden drinking coffee.

English Jo and Westbank Hamada

As it gets dark, Zahwa rings me, but I can't work out what she wants from me. When I get home around nine I find out that she was worried about me, thinking I had got lost and couldn't find my way home anymore. She has also taken to buying me sweets. When she comes back from her evening classes she always has a chocolate bar for me. I do get lost in Luxor, but that is no serious problem. There aren't really many streets, and only a few major streets. The family lives in one of those minor streets that don't even have a name, off a parallel street of Television Street. I could just take the taxi to school and back every day, but I find it more interesting to walk and explore the streets. Since they all look exatcly the same I give the streets names, to help myself orientate myself. In one street I spot that they keep chickens on the roof of a five storey house, so that Street is Chicken Street. The egyptian men are very much in my face, but I don't think they realise that they're annoying. I think they sincerely believe what they do is regular western behaviour. They're not dangerous, I just walk on and the worst that happens is that I'm late for tea. The dirt in the streets is incredible. At one point when I explored the Christian Quarters I caught myself standing in a dead rat. Since I have all the necessary vaccinations I don't worry about myself in all that dirt, but the amount of litter does make me feel very uncomfortable.

The two Jos

View vom the roof top restaurant

The staff of the school and the other students show me some places to go out. English Jo takes me to a beautiful roof café with a stunning view over the temple, the Nile and the westbank, and we all go for a meal in another really beautiful restaurant. I took my mum to Luxor last November and in my mind I already collect places to go and eat or to shop or to show her when I take her to Egypt again.
In the family and in the school they ignore my name. I'm used to people not knowing how to pronounce my name from the provincial town where I grew up and am well trained to answering to literally anything. Here Mona calls me Julia or Joli, Johann, Jehann or Jeehann. Sayid calls me Jeejee. In the school it gets confusing as English Jo and I are both Johann. The internet in the school comes and goes, in the flat the computer dies and sometimes the electricity goes completely. When I open the window the whole quarter is dark, that is really dark. That doesn't stop the drivers from driving through the streets with no lights on, but I'm safe and sound up here and can just see a stretch of the sky with Orion in it above. Usually electricity is back quickly enough. I nick the internet cable in the flat so I can at least chat with Mitja and my mum. Without the support from them I wouldn't have lasted the first days here.
I start to adjust to life in the family and to adjust the flat to me. I change my rock of a pillow for some really soft cushions and at last manage to sleep better. The noise in the streets at night is incredible. The family stays up until 2 or 3 in the morning everyday. They don't seem to need any sleep at all, because they get up at 6 in the morning. But then of course you don't need too much energy for cooking, washing, watching telly and smoking. Some nights when I wake up and go to the bathroom I cross the living room where Hamada is sleeping and I find out that he even sleeps with the telly on. The sound is off, but the pictures are still on. I wonder why he does that. Zahwa is the only one who sleeps for hours. When I get up and turn the light on she just crawls underneath her blanket, tiny thing that she is, and stays there. When I come back from my lessons between noon and one she still sleeps. One night I am trying to sleep while the family is watching telly in the other room. Then I hear Mona shout Zahwas name and I think that she knows that I'm trying to sleep here and that she could really try and be a little les noisy. Zahwa gets up to see what her mother wants and comes back with a cough syrup. Turns out Mona has heard me cough and wants to help. After that Zahwa makes me herb tea, anise, everyday. I still need to get out of the house for long periods every day. But I think that's normal, I just need some time to myself. Apart from that I seem to get used to this world.

Memo to self: have no more great ideas!

2011-01-09T02:38:00.000-08:00

Last year I had the fantastic idea to organise the first German Goddess Conference and I ended up spending weeks wondering what I was doing and worrying that it would all be one big desaster. In the end it all went really well and it was a beautiful event www.diegoettinindeutschland.wg.vu But apparently it didn't teach me anything because then I had the great idea of going to Egypt to learn some Arabic. I thought it would be nice to live with a family, look into their everyday lives and take on as much Arabic as possible. The whole trip shouldn't really serve a purpose. It just seemed like a fun thing and a great idea.
So here I am now, litterally stranded in Luxor and feeling more than a little lost. It's not my first time in Egypt, but when I was staying in the German House and in the Fayrouz Hotel I felt I didn't get into the real country in a way. I found a language school in Luxor http://www.ahlan-egypt.com/ that offered acommodation with families and thought, Briliant, off I go.
I'm not disappointed at all. It is as foreign and exotic to me as one could have hoped. Hamada, the eldest son of the family, picked me up from Luxor airport. He thinks he's twenty-four and he has a funny way to laugh. A bit like a suffocating fish, but really funny. The flat is about as big as Mitja's and my flat in Bonn. They are a family of five living in it, while Mitja and I agree that our flat is too small for two people. Mona and Sayid, the parents, havn't got much english. Ahmed, the second son, has a little more, and Zahwa, the fourteen years old daughter, who kindly shares her room with me, doesn't speak it badly at all. She doesn't always understand me, but with gestures we get by most of the time. Mona's sister Affaf is the manager of the Luxor office of the language school Ahlan Egypt.

The flat's living room is cosily furnished in Gold and Red. The telly is on all day long. When we eat we all sit down on the floor. An old blanket is spread out with newspapers on top of it. The food comes in several little dishes, and we eat with spoons and with our fingers. There aren't any plates. Everything that is spilled or crumbled lands on the newspapers, and after we've finished, is rolled up and thrown away with them. All day the windows' curtains are closed and it is very dark in the flat. I find it very hard to understand the everyday structure of the family, assuming that there is a structure. Mona seems to spend all day on the sofa watching telly and smoking except when she's cooking. The men come and go apparently as they please. Zahwa is at home all day and goes to lessons in the evening. The moment they come homw the women put on pyjamas and wear them all day. The family is very kind, but we cannot communicate and I have no idea of what I am expected to do. I keep telling myself that I am not expected to do anything at all, but I am under pressure and not happy at all. The bathroom is not much short of a desaster. I am the last person to be fussy about such things, but it is not pretty. Or clean. I don't think I can do that shower more than absolutely necessary and contemplate spending the next three weeks rather smelly. Maybe I can book myself into a hotel room at a reduced fair just to use the shower? Whenever I want to use the toilet I put on shoes because there is water on the floor an inch high. Instead of loo paper there is a suspicious looking little metally tube located in an equally suspicious place in relation to where one would be sitting if the toilet had a toilet seat. I have decided to give that adventure a miss and organised myself some loo paper. I managed Moldova's so-called toilets, I can do it again, I tell myslef. At least here you can flush the toilets! The streets all look the same to me and I have no idea how to get to the school and back. The darkness in the flat, not being able to speak to anybody and not knowing where I am, where I can go and what I can do is utterly depressing. It makes me wonder why I keep doing things like that, throw myself in at the deep end. Organising a Goddess Conference, going off to live with a family whose language I don't speak and whose culture I don't know... Do I want to prove that I'm courageous? Special? Tough? Different? I think the truth is that I'm very scared. I wouldn't do anything if I properly thought about things first. Several good things in my life came out of acting without thinking things through before doing them. My university degree, for example.

I spend the first few days feeling utterly miserable, contemplate going home early and things like that. Zahwa becomes my lifesaver. She goes and buys an egyptian Sim-card with me, she makes me memorise where the multitaxis stop and what I have to say to the driver when I want to get off. Whne she wants to cross the street she actually holds out her hand and orders me: „Take my hand!“ She is the sweetest thing and probably thinks that I need a lot of help.

On the first evening two little girls, who live in the same house, five and seven years old I would guess, came over. They sang me some songs and I have a lovely little movie of them to share. Does anybody know if and how I can upload videos to this blog? Please explain!

There will be photos the next time. But I havn't asked them yet if I may take pics of the living room, and I thought I'd spare us all the bathroom. Blessings to you all from Egypt xx

New Year

2011-01-02T07:41:00.000-08:00

The new calendary year has started and I am quite content with 2010. I finished my university degree and manifested the first ever German Goddess Conference. I am for the first time ever in my life VERY proud of myself. It was only after the German Conference that I realised that there hadn't been a team of organisers - it had truly only just been me. For some reason I have always been ashamed of my dreams, since they were only dreams. My inner judge LOVED to tell me to get real, to forget my dreams and that I'd never manifest them anyway. After the German Conference had really very successfully happened there was a blissful period of time when I really felt that I can do and achieve anything in the world. It was wonderful.

So what can I say about the Conference? It was bliss to have it. I am immensely grateful to a few very beautiful women without whom I couldn't have done it, who were in the ceremonial group, facilitated workshops and most of all were generously giving their energy to support me and back me up: Cassandra, Andrea Dechant, Miriam Raven, Elaria Andrae and especially Elin Heijll-Guest, Peti Songcatcher and Kathy Jones. Also the support of my lovely partner Mitja deeply touched me. It was colourful, deep, vivid, joyful, full of songs, full of beauty, meaningful and full of sisterly connection. We celebrated Holle as the Great Goddess in the centre and introduced the German Wheel of the Goddess to the world: Matrona and Hel as Crone Goddesses and Queens of the Underworld in the Northwest, Perchta, the Shining One, Mother of Earth in the North, Snow Maiden Skadi in the Northeast, Artio, shaman mother of fire in the East, Freya and Loreley, Lover Goddesses in the Southeast, Ran, Mother of Water in the South, Rosmerta and Caiva, Mother Goddesses of Abundance in the Southwest and Hertha/Nerthus, Mother of Earth in the West. There was ceremony, there was drumming, there was chanting, there was releasing, there was receiving, crafting, bonding, embodyment, nourishing food, walks in the land that was surrendering to hibernation, and for me there even was a birthday cake. The amazing Astrid facilitated a beautiful ceremony for my 30th birthday which I think was completely born from the moment and deeply touching.
I thoroughly enjoyed serving and celebrating the Goddess in Germany, the land where I have lived for more than 26 years, and having my sister priestesses of Avalon with me, as well as sharing the experience with other old friends and beginning new deep friendships. Watching my mum journey through the Conference and my partner enjoying being the bubble of it all just was the icing on the cake.

So now I am brimming with ideas for a second Goddess Conference in Germany. But first there are other things I want to birth. I want to let the beautiful creative energy that filled me after the first Conference flow into books and paintings and stay in the flow of where the Goddess takes me to. On the one hand it feels like a step back not to continue straight away with the next conference, but on the other hand, I am just integrating even more wonderful things into my life. The second German Conference will happen, only not straight away.

I am learning to hold that energy within and the belief that I can achieve all that I want to, with trust in the Lady to walk with me through the new year. I hope She brings me joy and adventures!
Blessings to all xx

Glastonbury Goddess Conference

2010-07-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

Die letzten Tage hab ich hart gearbeitet. Ich hab meinen Vortrag und die Powerpoint Präsentation für die Conference vorbereitet, meinen Workshop geplant und an der Website gearbeitet. Und dann hab ich meinen Koffer noch gepackt und jetzt bin ich startklar. Im Moment muss ich noch ziemlich viel arbeiten und lauter langweilige Sachen machen, aber heute nachmittag hab ich frei- ich pack die ganze Zeit meinen Koffer um, nur aus Vorfreude, weil ich übermorgen nach Avalon fliege. Ich bin ganz hibbelig, hihi. Freu mich sehr drauf.

Neuigkeiten zum Programm - artedea

2010-07-08T02:57:00.000-07:00

Ich freu mich wahnsinnig, bekanntgeben zu dürfen, dass Andrea Dechant www.artedea.net aus Wien ihre Teilnahme an der deutschen Göttinkonferenz zugesagt hat. Andrea malt unglaublich dynamische, sehr lebendige Bilder von Göttinnen aus allen Kulturen der Welt, und sie wird auf der Konferenz einen Workshop anbieten, bei dem es um die Göttin und Kunst geht. Damit macht sie mich besonders glücklich, denn einen solchen Workshop, der die Göttin und Kreativität praktisch miteinander verbindet, lag mir am Herzen.

Klickt mal auf ihre website unter www.artedea.net

Titeländerung

2010-07-07T00:08:00.000-07:00

Ihr Lieben, wie Ihr seht, habe ich vorübergehend den Titel des Blogs geändert. Er heißt jetzt Die Göttin in Deutschland www.diegoettinindeutschland.wg.vu Das liegt daran, dass ich möchte, dass man wenn man meinen Blog aufruft, direkt auch den Link zur Seite für den Göttinretreat sieht. Wenn der Retreat vorüber ist, im November, werde ich ihn wieder umbenennen. Ich hoffe, dass ich auf der englischen Conference in Glastonbury Ende des Monats viel Werbung für unser Event machen kann. Dort in der Broschüre wird auch auf den Blog verwiesen. Ich find es also ganz gut, auf dem Blog in den Texten Infos über den aktuellen Stand der Organisation, in der Kopfzeile oben drüber direkt die URL für ie website des Göttinretreats zu finden.

Sommerglück

2010-06-25T02:08:00.000-07:00

Die Sommersonnenwende ist vorbei. Ich hatte große Lust, eine Zeremonie zu machen, aber leider einfach keine Energie zur Vorbereitung. Mein Job ist körperlich so anstrengend, und in meiner wenigen Freizeit bin ich im Moment voll damit beschäftigt, Referentinnen und Workshopleiterinnen für den Göttinretreat zu finden - Infos auf www.diegoettinindeutschland.wg.vu. Die Website ist endlich fertig, damit ist ein großer Arbeitsposten abgehakt. Im Moment bin ich hauptsächlich damit beschäftigt, einen Kopfschmuck für mein Isiskostüm zu basteln und an meiner Isisgeschichte weiterzuschreiben. Gestern habe ich mich mit meinem Lap Top an den Rhein gelegt und dort gearbeitet - das hat gut geklappt, unter Vogelgesang und lichtdurchflutetem Laub. Dann habe ich dort noch eine kleine Zeremonie für Domnu, Sirona und die Rheintöchter gemacht, zur Heilung meiner Emotionen und um das abzugeben, was überholt und nur noch alter Balast ist. War wunderschön.

Göttin in Deutschland

2010-05-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

Im Moment bin ich sehr damit beschäftigt, den großen Göttinretreat im Oktober zu organisieren: Die Göttin in Deutschland vom 21.-24.10.2010 im Haus Sternschnuppe

http://sternschnuppe-oldenbuettel.info/0p8rui5nid/goettin_in_deutschland.html

Es macht riesigen Spaß, ist aber unglaublich viel Arbeit. Ich brauche noch 3 Workshopleiterinnen. Bisher haben Kathy Jones, Farnblüte, Cassandra, Elin Heijl-Guest und Miriam Raven zugesagt. Ich bin aber im Moment noch im Gespräch mit einigen anderen Frauen, die tolle Göttinarbeit machen, die ich überzeugen möchte, einen Workshop zu leiten. Es wird total gut werden, das steht schonmal fest!!

In den letzten Tagen hab ich viel an der Website gearbeitet. Das wird aber, weil ich jetzt erst einmal wieder etwas mehr arbeiten muss, sodass ich in den nächsten Tagen keine Zeit für die Website haben werde, noch ein paar Wochen dauern, bis sie online geht. Aber es geht voran!

Einen schönen Juni und Göttinsegen xxx

Sinnlichkeit

2010-05-18T13:12:00.001-07:00

Meistens, wenn man länger nichts von mir hört, bedeutet das, dass ich mit schönen Dingen beschäftigt bin... so auch im Augenblick: Die Vorbereitungen für den Göttin Retreat im Oktober laufen auf Hochtouren. Demnächst werde ich mehr darüber schreiben. Heute möchte ich auf den Retreat für Frauen am ersten Juniwochenende im Haus Sternschnuppe hinweisen, den Cassandra und ich anbieten:
Sinnlichkeit - die Göttin und Feen

http://sternschnuppe-oldenbuettel.info/8rin5ics/sinnlichkeit_goettin_und_feen.html

Es gibt noch freie Plätze, meldet Euch am besten noch heute an. Es wird wundervoll! Ich hoffe, wir sehen uns dort. Freyas und Asheras Segen uns allen!

Die Zukunft träumen

2010-02-15T07:04:00.000-08:00

Ich bin ganz aufgeregt. In der Stille des Winters lasse ich in meiner Mitte Visionen entstehen und Träume gestalt annehmen. Im Augenblick bin ich dabei, zwei Göttinevents zu planen, die ich im Lauf des Jahres gemeinsam mit meiner Freundin Cassandra durchführen will. Außerdem hab ich in den letzten Tagen viel über germanische und nordische Göttinnen gelesen und weiter über das deutsche Rad, an dem ich arbeite, geschrieben. Und ich habe weiter an meinem Isisroman geschrieben und ein Bild von ihr gemalt. Es ist viel in der Mache, und ich habe noch viel, viel mehr Ideen... ich bin gespannt, was sich noch alles ergibt udn wie sich alles entfaltet.

Imbolczeremonie

2010-02-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

Letzte Woche Sonnabend hab ich hier in Bonn die Bridiezeremonie zu Imbolc geleitet. Wir waren insgesamt 7 Frauen, die die Mädchengöttin, Neubeginne und das Versprechen des Frühlings feiern wollten. Es war eine sehr schöne Runde mit ein paar großartigen Frauen, die schon öfter mitgefeiert haben und die ich sehr gern mag, sowie zwei neuen Frauen, eine davon meine Mutter. Es war das erste Mal, dass sie bei einer meiner Zeremonien dabei war und ich hab mich sehr gefreut, sie im Kreis dieser Frauen zu sehen. Für mich ist in diesem Jahr, nach dem arbeitsintensiven letzten Jahr, in dem ich nur wissenschaftlich gearbeitet habe, ganz wichtig, wieder kreativer zu sein. Bridie ist neben der Mädchengöttin auch die Göttin der Heilkraft, der Schmiedekunst und der Poesie und Kreativität. Wir haben deshalb eine Geistreise zu Bridie gemacht und dann gemalt, was wir da erlebt haben. Kreativität ist eine der großartigsten Gaben der Göttin an uns. Ich hab schon oft erlebt, dass Frauen, die sich nicht für kreativ halten, in einer Zeremonie etwas basteln oder malen und dass damit ein Anfang gemacht wird. Wenn sie nach Hause gehen machen sie weiter und erleben sich nach einer Weile als kreative, schöpferische Frauen, die der Welt etwas schenken können. Das ist heilsam, positiv und wundervoll zu beobnachten. Die Bilder, die in der Zeremonie herausgekommen sind, waren alle sehr unterschiedlich und individuell, aber ganz großartig. Eigentlich hätte ich sie gern alle behalten.

Es schneit immer noch und ist sehr kalt. Die Tage sind abends länger hell. Aber ansonsten ist es hier noch sehr winterlich. Mir ist das sehr recht. Ich habe den ganzen Winter über gelernt und hatte keine Zeit, ein Mal spazieren zu gehen. Ich bin froh, dass der Frühling noch ein wenig auf sich warten lässt, und ich noch spazierengehen kann, Winterschlaf halten und still sein.

Imbolc - Neuanfänge

2010-01-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

Imbolc ist das Fest der Mädchengöttin. Bridie, das Mädchen, bringt die Energie des Neubeginns - mitten in der Kälte des Winters kommen die ersten Schneeglöckchen und es bleibt abends merkbar länger hell. Es ist noch nicht Frühling, aber Bridie bringt uns das Versprechen, dass der Frühling kommen wird. Für mich bringt Bridie in diesem Jahr spürbar mehr denn je Neuanfänge: ich habe am zweiten Februar, Bridies Festtag, meine letzten Magisterprüfungen und danach beginnt etwas ganz Neues. Ein neuer Job, eine neue Lebensweise. Ich freue mich wahnsinnig darauf, arbeiten zu gehen. Für mich stellt sich eine deutliche Verbesserung ein: während des Studiums habe ich gearbeitet um Geld zu verdienen und nebenbei meine Priesterinarbeit gemacht, d. h. Zeremonien geplant, gemalt, geschrieben. Die Zeit und das Geld waren immer knapp. Jetzt werde ich mehr Geld verdienen und der ganze Uni-Zeit-Block fällt weg. Das eröffnet Raum für Neues und ich bin so gespannt, was die Göttin mir ins Leben hineinwehen wird.
Jetzt also noch ein paar Tage, dann schließt meine Lebensphase als Studentin ab. Sei gegrüßt, Bridie!

Winter

2009-12-20T03:59:00.000-08:00

Mittwinterzeremonie

Die Mittwinterzeremonie zu Ehren von Danu, der Mutter der Luft, war sehr schön. Leider konnten viele der Frauen, die sich darauf gefreut hatten, teilzunehmen, nicht kommen, da sie eingeschneit waren. Dies ist das zweite Jahr in Folge, dass wir in Bonn Schnee haben. Ich bin das noch immer nicht gewohnt. Aber das ist eine der Mitteilungen von Danu an uns: dass sie uns die Möglichkeit gibt, das loszulassen, woran wir uns sonst vielleicht verbissen festhalten würden. Ich habe das im Priesterintraining gelernt, und Danu erinnert mich immer daran, zu vertrauen und einfach zur Göttin zu gehen, und zu sehen, was sie bringt, anstatt alles so haben zu wollen, wie wir uns das selbst ausgedacht hatten.
Und so waren Auri und ich allein und haben zusammen eine wunderschöne Mittwinterzeremonie durchgeführt. Es war für mich besonders schön, da es lange her ist, dass ich mit einer Schwesterpriesterin zusammen das Rad geöffnet habe. Wir haben den Ort der Stille in uns selbst gefunden, durch eine Reise zur eigenen Seelenlandschaft, und dort zusammen mit den Morgenschwestern vom zeitlosen Wissen der Göttin gelernt. Von diesem stillen Zustand aus haben wir dann gescryt. Die Zeit zwischen den Jahren wird in Deutschland als Raunächte bezeichnet, das kommt von Rauch, denn in diesen Nächten hat man im Hof und den Ställen geräuchert, um Böses abzuwenden, und die Familie und das Vieh zu segnen. Dementsprechend haben wir im Rauch gelesen. Und danach haben wir die Wiedergeburt des Lichts gefeiert. Danach sind wir durch den Schnee zurück zu mir gestiefelt. Die Zeremonie war sehr friedlich und hat unsere Herzen für die Göttin geöffnet, so dass ich jetzt ganz von Danus silbernem Sternenlicht und Stille und Frieden und Vertrauen erfüllt bin, was mir sehr guttut. Denn im Moment gibt’s in meinem Leben ein paar Baustellen, die sehr viel Unruhe bringen – mein Examen, die Frage, was danach kommt, die Jobsuche... Aber ich bin gespannt, wo die Göttin mich hinbringt, und wenn der Winter vorbei ist,, beginnt mein neues Leben. Ich habe meine letzten Prüfungen an Imbolc, und danach wird die Mädchengöttin mir zeigen, wie es weitergeht.

Wintersonnenwende

2009-12-17T06:46:00.000-08:00

Einladung zur Zeremonie zur
Wintersonnenwende
zu Ehren von
Danu
Mutter der Luft

Zur Wintersonnenwende begeben wir uns in das Zentrum des Wirbelsturms, an den Ort der absoluten Stille und ehren Danu, die Mutter der Luft.
Stille ist nicht die Abwesenheit von Geräusch, sondern der Zustand der absoluten Ruhe, wenn die Gedanken ruhen und wir nichts tun müssen, sondern einfach nur sein dürfen. Danu ist die Mitternacht, der Augenblick der Stille, wenn der Tag vorbei ist und der nächste noch nicht begonnen hat, der Moment zwischen Sterben und Reinkarnation, zwischen Ausatmen und Einatmen.
Zur Wintersonnenwende ist sie der Augenblick bevor das Licht zurückkehrt.
Sie ist Perchta, das stille Zentrum der Wilden Jagd.
Sie ist die Knochenfrau, die Steinfrau, die Vogelfrau, die mit ihrem scharfen Blick die Masken und das Äußerliche durchdringt, und uns hilft klar zu sehen.
Ihr Geschenk ist die Vision. In ihrer Stille können wir ruhen und unsere Zukunft träumen.

Wir finden unsere Vision in der Stille, klingen unseren Segen in die Welt und feiern die Wiedergeburt des Lichtes.

Alle sind herzlich Willkommen! Bitte kommt mit offenem Herzen und kommt zu Ehren Danus in grau-silber gekleidet.

Fragen beantworte ich gern über Handy oder unter avalonpaintings@live.de
Ich freue mich auf Euch!

Joanne malt Göttinbilder und schreibt Gedichte und Artikel, die in verschiedenen internationalen Göttinmagazinen veröffentlicht wurden. Auf der jährlich stattfindenden Glastonbury Goddess Conference gehört sie zum Kreis der Heart Priestesses. Seit vier Jahren leitet sie in Deutschland Zeremonien und Workshops über Avalon. Sie hat unter anderem bei Kathy Jones, Ren Chapman und Brian Charles gelernt.

avalonpaintings@live.de – www.priesterinvonavalon.blogspot.com

Das Rad dreht sich

2009-12-15T01:03:00.001-08:00

Das Rad dreht sich, und ich habe seit September nichts mehr gepostet... Die Zeit in Ägypten war großartig, sehr inspirierend, lehhreich, heilsam und transformierend. In der Samhainzeremonie nach meiner Rückkehr haben wir Isis als Göttin von Liebe und Tod gefeiert und Keridwen, die Göttin der Unterwelt. Die erste Zeremonie in dem neuen Raum, den ich gemietet habe, war wundervoll und ich freu mich auf die nächsten Zeremonien dort.
Im Moment stecke ich in der Examensphase, weshalb ich nicht so viel poste, im Hintergrund läuft aber trotzdem alles bei mir weiter und entwickelt sich. Für 2010 habe ich ein paar wunderbare Workshops und Retreats geplant, und am Freitag, dem 18. findet um 19h die Mittwinterzeremonie zu Ehren von Danu, der Mutter der Luft, statt.
Ich hoffe, ich seh Euch dort!
Wintersegen xx

Herbsttagundnachtgleiche

2009-09-07T07:22:00.001-07:00

Einladung zur Zeremonie zur
Herbsttagundnachtgleiche
zu Ehren von
NERTHUS
Mutter der Erde

Zur Herbsttagundnachtgleiche feiern wir Nerthus, die Mutter der Erde, mit ihren Gaben des Wachstums und der Manifestation. Sie ist das Land, auf und von dem wir leben, das uns ein Heim und Nahrung schenkt. In ihr sind wir verwurzelt. Sie ist die Göttin der Ernte mit reifem Gemüse und Obst, Beeren und Nüssen. Sie ist die Göttin des Herbstes, wenn Tag und Nacht genau gleich lang sind, bevor die Dunkelheit stärker wird.
Feiert mit uns Erntedank, die Früchte dessen, wofür Ihr gearbeitet habt. Wir verbinden uns mit Mutter Erde und erden uns in ihrer Liebe. Wir feiern Nerthus mit Liedern und Kreistanz.

Alle sind herzlich willkommen. Bitte kommt zu Nerthus' Ehren in Braun- und Erdtönen gekleidet und mit offenem Herzen. Bitte eine Decke und Obst oder Gemüse aus dem eigenen Garten oder der Region mitbringen.
Ich freu mich auf Euch. Bei Fragen wendet Euch bitte an mich.

Jo malt Göttinbilder und schreibt Gedichte und Artikel, die in verschiedenen internationalen Göttinmagazinen veröffentlicht wurden. Auf der jährlich stattfindenden Glastonbury Goddess Conference gehört sie zum festen Kreis der Priesterinnen. Seit vier Jahren leitet sie in Deutschland Zeremonien und Workshops über Avalon. Sie hat unter anderem bei Kathy Jones, Ren Chapman und Brian Charles gelernt.

www.priesterinvonavalon.blogspot.com

Sommerpause

2009-09-04T00:31:00.000-07:00

Im Moment bin ich hauptsächlich damit beschäftigt, umzuziehen. Die Wohnung wird sehr schön. Wir haben das Schlafzimmer fertig, da sthet auch mein Schreibtisch drin, aus Platzgründen. Ansonsten ist es ein sehr schlner Tempelraum mit dem ich sehr, sehr glücklich bin. Im Moment machen wir gerade die Küche. Die wird am Ende der Woche fertig sein, aber ich sehe jetzt schon, dass sie auch sehr schön wird.
Nebenbei bin ich auf der Suche nach einem geeigneten Ort, wo die deutsche Konferenz stattfinden kann. Wir haben uns entschieden, dass es in Bonn sein soll, aber bisher hatte ich kein Glück bei den Räumlichkeiten, wo ich angefragt hab.
Daher der Titel Sommerpause. Es geht sehr langsam voran, aber das ist einfach im Moment so. Mit der Zeit kann ich hier dann wieder von größeren Schritten berichten.

Göttin des Wassers

2009-08-12T01:28:00.000-07:00

Zur Sommersonnenwende feiern wir die Göttin des Wassers als Göttin der Emotionen, der Intuition und der Heilung. Selbstverständlich feiern wir sie aber auch als Göttin der Quellen und Seen, Flüsse und Meere. In Deutschland feiern wir sie in ihrer Erscheinung als Rheintöchter und als Sirona. Um die Sommersonnenwende herum habe ich mir versprochen, dass ich in den Hunsrück fahren würde und Sironas Heiligtum besuchen würde. Dieses Versprechen habe ich mir am Wochenende erfüllt, als ich mit Mitja nach Hochscheid gefahren bin. Inzwischen hat sich das Jahreskreis weitergedreht und die Göttin hat ihre Gestalt als Mutter angenommen, Caiva, Rosmerta und Matrona. Die Muttergöttin ist die Göttin der Fülle, der reifen Kornfelder und des Beginns der Erntezeit. Ihre Tiere sind Rehe.
Wir haben am Archäologiepark Wederath-Belginum geparkt, und sind dann zwischen den Grabhügeln hindurch in die offenen Felder gewandert. Der Weizen und die Gerste wiegten sich im Wind und dann sprang plötzlich ein Reh über das Feld, ganz ruhig und entspannt, das ganz lange blieb.
Danach sind wir mit dem Auto zur Sirona-Hütte und zum Sirona-Pavillon gefahren. Am eigentlichen Fundort, wo das Heiligtum wirklich lag, hat man nichts rekonstruiert. Aber Abgüsse von der Figur, die man gefunden hat, hat man in der Gegend überall aufgestellt.
Es war ein wunderschöner Tag für uns, an dem die Göttin sich uns immer wieder gezeigt hat.

Göttinkonferenz in Deutschland

2009-08-05T05:54:00.001-07:00

Ich bin zurück aus England, den Kopf voller neuer Chants, das Herz voller neuer Freundinnen und Freunde, mein Leben um viele wunderbare Erfahrungen reicher und ein wunderbares Projekt im Gepäck:
Ich werde die erste Göttinkonferenz in Deutschland organisieren. Sie wird vom 21.-24.10.2010 stattfinden, hoffentlich in Bonn. Ich habe in Glastonbury sofort die Gelegenheit ergriffen, für die deutsche Konferenz Werbung zu machen und bin überrollt worden von einer Flutwelle toller Göttinforscherinnen, -künstlerinnen und -priesterinnen, die mir alle angeboten haben, zu kommen und etwas zum Programm beizutragen. Das hat mich unheimlich froh und glücklich gemacht.
Die deutsche Konferenz wird das Format der Glastonbury Goddess Conference übernehmen, aber im deutschen Rad der Göttin verwurzelt sein. Dieses Rad entsteht im Augenblick noch. Seit der Frühlingtagundnachtgleiche hat sich mir die Göttin verstärkt in ihren Erscheinungsformen und Namen, in/unter denen sie hier in Deutschland verehrt wurde, mirgeteilt und tut das noch immer. Ich bin nur dabei, dies alles im Rad zusammenzusetzen. Ich möchte gern zu Samhain schon mit einem deutschen Jahreskreisfestzyklus hier in Bonn beginnen.
Die wunderbare Cassandra aus Norddeutschland und die leuchtende Aurelia, Priesterinschülerin in der ersten Spirale in Avalon, helfen mir dabei, die Konferenz zu organisieren.
Für mich steht jetzt als erstes an, eine Location zu finden und eine Kostenübersicht zu bekommen. Auf mich kommen jetzt meine Abschlussprüfungen in der Uni zu, und mehr nehme ich nebenbei nicht auf mich. Nach dem Examen werde ich mich dann verstärkt in die Organisation stürzen. Im Februar wird dann auch die Konferenzwebsite online gestellt. Bis dahin gibt es alle Infos und updates hier auf diesem Blog, also schaut mal regelmäßig herein, es lohnt sich, denn die Konferenz wird ein Füllhorn an göttinzentrierten Workshops, Präsentationen, Zeremonien und Festlichkeiten, Vorträgen und künstlerischen Darbietungen!

Goddess Conference 2009

2009-07-25T04:24:00.000-07:00

Die letzten tage waren so anstrengend, bin ich froh, dass das vorbei ist! Meine Magisterarbeit ist fertiggeschrieben, die Tafeln und Kartierungen sind gemacht und alles ist zu meiner Ma und zu Dana gemailt, die das Ganze für mich Korrekturlesen.
Und ich bin gestern gleich im Anschluss nahtlos dazu übergegangen, meinen Koffer für die Goddess Conference zu packen! Ich hab das überhaupt nicht realisiert, dass ich die Arbeit fertiggeschrieben hab, ich war da so eingestrickt... und jetzt ist es vorbei!!!
Gleich werd ich den Rucksack allerdings wieder aufmachen und nochmal umpacken, denn endgültig fertig bin ich immer noch nicht. Es ist unheimlich schwierig für die Conference zu packen, man braucht so viel Zeug!
Dieses Jahr feiern wir die Göttin des Sonnenfeuers, und ich bin die Hearth Priestess im Südosten. Das bedeutet, ich bin Priesterin der Gruppe von Leuten, die sich entscheiden, die Energie und die Flamme der Liebe zu halten. Und heute morgen um Viertel nach Sieben (!!!) kriege ich 'ne SMS von Alexandra, meiner ceremonial Priestess, dass ich bitte für die Vorbereitungszeremonien am Mittwoch 4 Kelche und 4 Federn mitbringen soll. Wo soll ich denn jetzt bitte 4 Kelche herkriegen? Ich hab einen, und der ist mir schonmal zerbrochen auf der Reise nach Glastonbury, den nehm ich bestimmt nicht nochmal mit. Abgesehen davon hab ich sowieso keinen Platz mehr in meinem Rucksack, haha. Aber das sind diese last minutes Ansagen, die bin ich gewohnt von der Conference, da werde wir dann sehen, wie wir das machen. Ich packe einfach alles ein, woran ich mich erinnern kann, dass ich es brauche und dann sehen wir mal, wie wir den Rest hinkriegen. Zum Glück bin ich ziemlich gut darin, zu improvisieren und mit dem, was ich gerade habe, gute Zeremonien zu machen. In meinem zweiten Ausbildungsjahr haben Peter, der mit mir das Training gemacht hat, und ich uns mal überlegt, ob wir genau das zu unserer Marketing Strategie machen sollen, wir hatten sogar schon eine Namensidee: Instant Ceremonies, hahaha.
Also, ich bin voller Vorfreude und ganz aufgeregt. Morgen haben wir Priestess Meeting zur Vorbereitung und am Abend geh ich zu 'ner Moonlodge. Am Montag hab ich
frei, Dienstag geb ich einen Workshop und Mittwoch geht die COnference los.
Infos gibt's unter www.goddessconference.com

Die Lammaszeremonie

2009-07-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

Gestern abend haben wir also die Göttin zur Lammaszeit in ihrer Gestalt als Mutter gefeiert. Wir waren sechs Frauen und zwei Mädchen in Goldgelb gekleidet, die sich an der Sieg getroffen haben. Das Wetter war herrlich, der Himmel mal bewölkt, dann wieder klar, ein frischer Wind, aber kein Regen.
Ich habe Caiva, Rosmerta und die Matronen eingeladen mit ihren Körben voller reifem Obst und Getreide und Brot. Wir feiern zu Lammas die Fülle, den Überfluss, den Reichtum der Göttin und all ihrer Gaben an uns und den Beginn der Erntezeit. Es war sehr ergreifend, miteinander zu teilen, wofür wir alle dankbar sind. Zu sehen, wie eine Frau vor Dankbarkeit und Glück weinte. Und für mich besonders schön, zu spüren, dass ich, obwohl ich im Augenblick kein Geld habe, um mir was zu essen zu kaufen (ich esse alle meine Vorräte auf und bei meinem Freund), trotzdem unglaublich reich bin. Weil mein Freund zu mir hält. Weil er mich total unterstützt und einfach immer da ist. Das ist das große Geschenk der Göttin für mich dieses Jahr, dass ich gelernt hab, dass ich keine Insel bin und meine Situation nicht immer nur allein zu regeln brauch.
Dann haben wir die Mütter unter uns gewürdigt und gesegnet, während ihre Töchter (sechs und vier) zwischen den hochgewachsenen Pflanzen in der Siegaue herumkrabbelten, Nacktschnecken und Käfer beobachteten und immer wieder mit Blumensträußen angelaufen kamen. Beim Spiraltanz haben sie mitgetanzt und danach haben wir ein wunderbares Lied meiner Freundin Sheilagh gesungen und sind dabei wild im Kreis herumgewirbelt und gesprungen. Wir haben einfach die Lammasenergie so stark gespürt, die Liebe und Fürsorge von Caiva für uns und uns so reich und glücklich gefühlt.

Blessed be the Corn in the Golden Light of Lammas
Blessed be the Goddess at the centre of the maze
Blessed be the food that will feed us through the winter
As we merry meet and merry part and merry meet again
(Sheilagh Rose Bright)

Und die Sonne ging unter und malte die Wolken rosa an, die Grillen zirpten und wir teilten Essen miteinander und feierten die Gaben Rosmertas und beendeten dann die Zeremonie.
Es war ein wunderschönes Fest, es hat mir großen Spaß gemacht mit den Frauen, die da waren. Es ist nur schade, dass wir keine Fotos gemacht haben :-) Vielleicht beim nächsten Mal.

Ich wünsche Euch den Segen der Muttergöttin und eine reiche, goldene Lammaszeit!

Die Rote Göttin

2009-07-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

Heute war ich auf einem Workshop von Ziriah Voigt zu Kreistänzen zur Roten Zeit. Es war toll, all diese Frauen, ich hab sie nicht gezählt, so um die 20 waren wir, in Rot gekleidet im Kreis tanzen zu sehen. Es bringt Göttinenergie und Frauenkraft in die Welt. Frauen erfahren sich selbst neu während sie solche Tänze tanzen, und dieses stärkere Selbstbild tragen sie mit in die Welt.
Mein Lieblingstanz war die Rote Frau, ich hoffe, ich kann den mal verwenden bei einer meiner Zeremonien. Er drückt Stärke und Stolz aus, die Kraft, sie in allen Frauen steckt und die viel zu oft leider noch versteckt wird, und die man uns Frauen auszutreiben versucht hat.
Die Fotos sind vom Beltanelabyrinth, das ich zu Beltane in Bonn veranstaltet hab, zu Ehren der Roten Göttin Loreley und Rhiannon, Göttin der Sexualität, der Souverenität, der Lebensfreude und der Liebe. Es war ein tolles Fest, mit Liedern, Trommeln, der Reise zur Göttin im Zentrum des Labyrinths, Kreistanz und dann sind mein Liebster und ich übers Beltanefeuer gesprungen. Ah, ich liebe die Beltaneenergie, das Erblühen und Glühen.

Lammaszeremonie

2009-07-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

Obwohl Lammas eigentlich erst Anfang August gefeiert wird, werde ich die Zeremonie für die Muttergöttin vorziehen, weil ich bis zum 4. 8. in Avalon bin.
Sie wird an der Sieg stattfinden, wo wir in der Vergangenheit schon oft Zeremonien gefeiert haben, und es wird um die Muttergöttin Matrona gehen, die Muttergöttin Ker und um Rosmerta, die Göttin der Fülle. Beginn ist um 19:30h, alle sind herzlichst eingeladen, gegen einen kleinen Energieausgleich von 10/8€. Im Moment bin ich wie verrückt am Ideensammeln und Planen, und in Kürze kommt auch der Flyer.
Ich freu mich aufs Fest und hoffe, dass ganz viele Menschen kommen, denn ich hab gerade von meiner Freundin Lida Fotos von der holländischen Goddess Conference bekommen, und bin jetzt so richtig in Stimmung, die Göttin zu feiern. Das wird so gut!

Glastonbury / Deutschland

2009-06-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

Viele von den Leuten, mit denen ich zusammen die Ausbildung gemacht habe, leben inzwischen in Glastonbury und sind sehr involviert, in alles, was dort stattfindet. Und die, die nicht da leben, nehmen beinahe alle an irgendwelchen anderen Kursen dort teil, und sind auf diese Weise sehr eingebunden. Ich habe zwei Kurse im Kopf, die ich dort gern noch machen möchte, aber im Moment habe ich mich entschieden, mich zuerst auf mein Studium zu konzentrieren, damit ich damit fertigwerde und danach erst, wieder einen Kurs in Avalon zu belegen. Die Hin- und Herreiserei ist wahnsinnig teuer und im Moment habe ich überhaupt kein Geld. Das ist manchmal ziemlich schwierig für mich, weil mir die Gemeinschaft fehtl, und ich mich in Deutschland isoliert und manchmal geradezu ausgeschlossen fühle. Aber ich sehe nicht ein, dass ich mein Leben in Deutschland aufgeben muss, um in Glastonbury mehr integriert zu sein. Ich liebe mein Leben in Deutschland, mein Freund wohnt hier und meine Familie lebt hier, und ich habe keinen Grund, nach Glastonbury zu ziehen, außer, dass es in Deutschland keine vergleichbare Göttin-Community gibt.
Also, Ihr Göttinverehrerinnen und Göttinverehrer, Priesterinnen und Priester, meldet Euch, lasst uns uns zusammentun und die Göttinwelt leben!

Coventina

2009-06-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

Zur Sommersonnenwende feiern wir in Avalon die Göttin des Wassers. Vor einem Monat waren mein Freund und ich in Nordengland am Hadrianswall. Es war eine wunderschöne Reise zur Göttin, das Land so weit und ewig. Unter Rhiannons Weißdornhecken und an ihren Pferden vorbei kamen wir schließlich zu Coventinas Quelle. Sie wurde von den Römern und den Picten als Heilgöttin verehrt. Man hat über 16000 Münzen und 22 Weihesteine in ihrer Quelle gefunden, die sich heute im Chesters Fort Museum befinden. So viele Funde hat man in keinem anderen Heiligtum in Groß-Britannien gemacht. Auf den Weihesteinen wird sie entweder allein oder als dreifache Göttin mit dem Blatt einer Wasserlilie und einem Krug, aus dem Wasser fließt, abgebildet.
Heute ist von dem Schrein kaum noch etwas zu sehen, nur ein ganz kleiner zugewachsener Mauerrest. Aber die Quelle sprudelt immer noch.
Auf dem Weg zurück zum Wall kam mir ein kleines Lied.

Coventina Well

There are some peaceful cows standing on the hills

The rolling hills with grass so green

The wind is mild

The cars drive by

And the sun comes out on a cloudy sky

Goddess still walks this land

There’s an endless wall that cuts across the land

A frontier, an empire’s pride

The empire’s gone

As the tribes’ joys and fears

Just the wall’s still there after thousands of years

And Goddess still walks the land

There’s a little well

That flows into the fields

A Goddess, her water shrine

Like the Romans and Picts left their offerings

I say my prayer at the Sacred Spring

Goddess still walks this land

Das kann man auf die Melodie von What have they done to the Rain singen.
Mittsommersegen!

Die Geburt

2009-06-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

In der letzten Nacht, der kürzesten Nacht des Jahres, bekam ich den Eindruck, dass es Zeit ist, meinen Blog zu beginnen. Seit Juli 2007 bin ich initiierte Priestess of Avalon und von meinem Leben als PoA in Deutschland will ich im Blog erzählen, von meinen Erfahrungen, von meinen Studien, meinen Begegnungen mit wunderbaren, weisen Göttinmenschen und von den besonderen Momenten der Einheit mit der Göttin, die sich jeden Augenblick ereignen können und die das ganze Leben wie eine wunderschöne Kette durchziehen. Es gibt keine Trennung zwischen uns Menschen, der Welt, in der wir leben und der Göttin. Die Welt ist eine Göttinwelt und ich hoffe, dass dieser Blog ein bisschen dazu beiträgt, dass diese Göttinwelt für alle ein wenig offenbarer wird.
Zur Sommersonnenwende freue ich mich also über die Geburt meines Göttinblogs! Blessed Be!