I am now in my 33rd week. I am not working at the moment because the start of the next project keeps being postponed, and I'm quite happy about it. I am incredibly heavy and big by now, and I want to sleep 18hrs per day. I am very short of breath, I'm too hot most of the time and the smallest activity has me end up covered in sweat... Also my digestion is completely messed up. The last few weeks havn't been easy.
My nephew sadly has died in late November. He was a charming young man, with a very lovely heart energy, suffering from mucoviscidosis since his birth. He was only 23 years old when his spirit returned to the Source, and his funeral was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced in my life.
I have spent the weeks since trying to figure out what needs to be done bureaucracy-wise in order to receive maternal allowance and parental support once the little fairy is here, and I am not even going to talk about how stupid the people are at the office and how illogical and unfair the system is. I think I am there now, so I refuse to waste another thought on this.
With really strong tummy pains and the return of my headaches it was quite a difficult time in the Cauldron for me though.
In order to not lose myself in the Cauldron I kept myself busy connecting to the changing energy of the Lady as the Wheel turns to Yule. I have spent three days making Lebkuchen and they turned out LOVELY and I have also made another birth candle. Now that the placenta has moved and my gynaecologist said there is no reason not to have a home birth, I am quite looking forward to giving birth. The first birth candle I made was a blessing candle for the little mermaid, and this one now is blood red to give me strength and empower me, and it is quite strong. Also I am woring on a painting of Sheilagh na Gig which should be finished soon. But I tire quickly and then I go to bed, because my wise mother-friends have all told me to go and have a nap when I'm tired as long as I still can, so I don't feel bad about it at all :-)
The baby is healthy and happy, dancing and swimming around in Her womb sea and I am moving into the Stillness, into the Dreamtime and into hibernation.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
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