Monday, March 18, 2013
Die Frühlingstagundnachtgleiche bringt Neues
In den letzten Wochen habe ich an einem Massagekurs teilgenommen und viele wunderschöne Wellnessmassagetechniken gelernt. Ich freue mich wahnsinnig darauf, bald Massagen anbieten zu können, die Euch in Euren Körper bringen und Euch so richtig gut fühlen lassen. Weitere Informationen dazu werdet Ihr dann auf meiner Website Avalon Paintings finden. Ich glaube, dass ich aber erst in der nächsten Woche dazu kommen werde, den Text für die website zu schreiben, denn im Moment bin ich in jeder freien Minute dabei, den Zweiten Kreis der Priesterinnenausbildung vorzubereiten, der am Wochenende ansteht. Ich freue mich wahnsinnig darauf. Es geht um die Mutter des Feuers, Ostara und Sunna. Und außerdem sind wir sehr damit beschäftigt, die Hochzeit vorzubereiten. Aber die Massagebank, die ich bestellt habe, ist eh noch nicht geliefert worden. Ich schreibe die Texte so bald wie möglich und dann gibt es bei mir verschiedene, ganz tolle Massagen, zum Abtauchen in Göttinentspannung und Wohlbefinden.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Wir leben in der Welt der Göttin
Danach sind wir zu Ihrem Tempel in Pesch gefahren. Auf dem Weg dahin haben wir noch einen kleinen Abstecher zur Kirche in Pesch gemacht, denn dieser gegenüber befindet sich in einem Vorgarten ein sehr schöner Matronenstein.
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| Ich liebe die Hände, die die Körbe halten |
Der Tag heute war morgens sehr regnerisch. Aber als wir am Tempel ankamen, war es trocken und windig. Wir waren in unseren Jacken schön warm eingemummelt und es war sehr angenehm. Außer uns hat niemand dem Wetter getraut, und so waren wir ganz allein im Tempel.
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| Mit Lilith am Altarstein |
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| Gebet und Opfergaben |
Danach sind wir nach Euskirchen gefahren. Vor fünf Jahren wurde vor dem Amtsgericht ein Labyrinth aus Steinen angelegt. Die Steinlinie wird immer wieder von Kräutersträuchern unterbrochen und 7 Holzskulpturen stehen dort im Kreis. Diese Installation ist von der Künstlerin Gesa Krieg und heißt "Frau". Am Labyrinth steht "thematisiert werden "die Frau" und weibliche Kräfte und Aspekte im Leben. Übereinstimmend sind diese in vielen Kulturen weltweit beschrieben worden".
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| Das Labyrinth mitten in der Stadt |
Sie benutzen das Wort "Göttin" nicht, aber eigentlich reden sie von der Großen Göttin. Das merkt man auch, wenn man da ist. Es ist, auch wenn der Name verschleiert ist, ein Göttinort, an dem Sie im Labyrinth erfahrbar und in Ihren verschiedenen Aspekten von der Künstlerin sichtbar gemacht worden ist. Und das mitten in einer Stadt, vor dem Amtsgericht. Das gefällt mir. Ich liebe Göttinorte in der Natur oder Ähnlichem, aber ich liebe sie auch mitten im weltlichen Alltag, gerade da sind sie notwendig. Die alltägliche Welt ist so sehr der Spiritualität beraubt, und wir Menschen mit ihr. Spiritualität wird einfach kaum mehr Raum gegeben, sie wird komplett in den privaten Bereich gedrängt und als weniger wichtig angesehen, als Gewinnmachen, Konkurrenzdenken, u. Ä. Und auch wenn man die lebendige Göttin immernoch zu wenig in der Öffentlichkeit sieht, Sie kommt doch mehr und mehr zurück. Ich liebe es, wenn die Göttin sichtbar in der alltäglichen Welt ist!
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| Nähren |
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| Entwicklung |
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| Geburt - Leben - Tod |
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| Spinnenetze in der Skulptur "Geburt - Leben - Tod" |
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| Tragen |
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| Mut und Beständigkeit |
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| Weiter führt der Weg... |
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| Intuition |
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| Liebe |
Auf der website steht, dass sie auch Jahreskreisfeste im Labyrinth feiern. Ich hoffe, es passt bald mal terminlich, dass wir dazu hinfahren können. Es war ein wundervoller Tag mit meiner Familie, gehalten in der Welt der Göttin.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Priesterin der Göttin in Deutschland
Vor zwei Wochen hat die Priesterinnenausbildung begonnen. Ich bin unheimlich
glücklich über diese Gruppe. Wir brauchen dringend Göttinpriesterinnen
in der Welt und ich bin so froh, dass jetzt auch hier in Deutschland
wieder Frauen diesen Weg beschreiten möchten.
Die Gruppe besteht aus sechs vom Charakter, vom Alter und von der Herkunft her ganz unterschiedlichen Frauen, die die Liebe zur Göttin verbindet. Der Weg der Priesterin kann ein anstrengender sein, denn er bedeutet Hingabe an die Göttin, er bedeutet, sich Ihrer Energie zu öffnen. Ihre Energie ist eine Energie der Verwandlung, der Heilung und wir alle kennen ja die Worte "She changes everything She touches and everything She touches changes". Deswegen würdige ich die Frauen, die sich mit mir auf diesen Weg gemacht haben, denn die Göttin wird sie verwandeln.
Das erste Wochenende war der Mädchengöttin gewidmet. Hier in Deutschland verehren wir sie unter dem Namen Brigida, die Neuanfang bringt, Heilung, Poesie und Schmiedekunst, und auch als Skadi, die Jungfrau im alten Wortsinn. Es war ein sehr intensives Wochenende, in dem wir Brigidapuppen herstellten und über unsere Kindheit sprachen. Dannführten wir mit den Puppen eine Heilungszeremonie für das Innere Kind durch. Wir belebten altes Brauchtum, in dem wir der Mädchengöttin ein Bett bereiteten und Brigidakreuze herstellten. Wir fuhren hinaus auf den Venusberg und riefen die Mädchengöttin, sangen ihre Namen und schrieben von ihr inspirierte Worte. Im Imbolcwald die Namen der Göttin zu singen war kraftvoll. Wie lange ist das her, dass Priesterinnen das taten? Mich erfüllt es mit Freude und einem Gefühl der Verbundenheit mit dem Land und der Seele des Lebens, der großen Göttin.
Der Venusberg selbst ist ein Beispiel für das Patriarchat. Wissenschaftler verlieren keine Zeit, wann immer der Name fällt, zu betonen, dass er nichts mit der Göttin zu tun hat. Diese Angst vor der Göttin und das Bedürfnis Sie zu leugnen machen mich traurig. Aber sie haben es nicht geschafft, Sie vollkommen zu verdrängen und ich freue mich über die Kraft und die Liebe, mit der die Göttin nun zurückkommt.
Die Gruppe besteht aus sechs vom Charakter, vom Alter und von der Herkunft her ganz unterschiedlichen Frauen, die die Liebe zur Göttin verbindet. Der Weg der Priesterin kann ein anstrengender sein, denn er bedeutet Hingabe an die Göttin, er bedeutet, sich Ihrer Energie zu öffnen. Ihre Energie ist eine Energie der Verwandlung, der Heilung und wir alle kennen ja die Worte "She changes everything She touches and everything She touches changes". Deswegen würdige ich die Frauen, die sich mit mir auf diesen Weg gemacht haben, denn die Göttin wird sie verwandeln.
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| Der zentrale Altar in der Mitte unseres Kreises |
Das erste Wochenende war der Mädchengöttin gewidmet. Hier in Deutschland verehren wir sie unter dem Namen Brigida, die Neuanfang bringt, Heilung, Poesie und Schmiedekunst, und auch als Skadi, die Jungfrau im alten Wortsinn. Es war ein sehr intensives Wochenende, in dem wir Brigidapuppen herstellten und über unsere Kindheit sprachen. Dannführten wir mit den Puppen eine Heilungszeremonie für das Innere Kind durch. Wir belebten altes Brauchtum, in dem wir der Mädchengöttin ein Bett bereiteten und Brigidakreuze herstellten. Wir fuhren hinaus auf den Venusberg und riefen die Mädchengöttin, sangen ihre Namen und schrieben von ihr inspirierte Worte. Im Imbolcwald die Namen der Göttin zu singen war kraftvoll. Wie lange ist das her, dass Priesterinnen das taten? Mich erfüllt es mit Freude und einem Gefühl der Verbundenheit mit dem Land und der Seele des Lebens, der großen Göttin.
Der Venusberg selbst ist ein Beispiel für das Patriarchat. Wissenschaftler verlieren keine Zeit, wann immer der Name fällt, zu betonen, dass er nichts mit der Göttin zu tun hat. Diese Angst vor der Göttin und das Bedürfnis Sie zu leugnen machen mich traurig. Aber sie haben es nicht geschafft, Sie vollkommen zu verdrängen und ich freue mich über die Kraft und die Liebe, mit der die Göttin nun zurückkommt.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
First Vienna Goddess Conference
I have just come back from the First Goddess Conference in Austria. It was a really big colourful event. When I manifested the First German Goddess Conference in 2010 I invited austrian artist Artedea. At the Conference she met my friend and priestess sister Elaria who was in the ceremonial circle and who is also from Austria. These two women had the vision to create a Goddess Conference in Austria and together with trainee priestess of Avalon Hildegard Kirchweger and a fourth woman they started manifesting... And now there are two babies which have come from that First German Conference, as Artedea said on Saturday: my own beautiful daughter and the Austrian Conference. I thought it was really lovely of her to link back to that Samhain Conference we held in Germany. Because I had my 15 weeks old baby daughter with me I couldn't priestess at the Austrian Conference and I felt very much included and appreciated by Artedea however, which was a really good feeling.
It was lovely to see and reconnect with so many of my friends and priestess sisters. We all do live rather far apart frome each other and with the pregnancy and newborn baby I havn't exactly been very mobile these last few months. The Conference was held in a beautiful castle with parks and the weather was just gorgeous.
There were talks and workshops, music and dance, great artists and fantastic food. The only thing I felt could have been deeper was the ceremonies. There weren't many ceremonies and I didn't feel the Lady very strongly. I don't know how many of the priestesses in the ceremonial circle were actually fully trained priestesses, but it is a lot easier to do a ceremony and to hold space with a group of priestesses who have had the same training. This will grow if the priestesses continue to do ceremony together. I do hope that I may join them in the ceremonial cirlce next year.
The energy of these days was lovely, the performers and the artists really brought in a strong positive woman-power-energy which was very nurturing and gorgeous. I enjoyed making new friends and I already miss all of them!
I am in awe at what these four visionary women have manifested. I really hope they do another conference again next year.
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| Participants enjoying the sunshine |
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| The beautiful castle |
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| Amazing performers dancing the Goddess of the Austrian Wheel - BEE-AUTI-FUL! |
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| Peti, Eva and more musicians |
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| Grüß Göttin Fireworks |
It was lovely to see and reconnect with so many of my friends and priestess sisters. We all do live rather far apart frome each other and with the pregnancy and newborn baby I havn't exactly been very mobile these last few months. The Conference was held in a beautiful castle with parks and the weather was just gorgeous.
There were talks and workshops, music and dance, great artists and fantastic food. The only thing I felt could have been deeper was the ceremonies. There weren't many ceremonies and I didn't feel the Lady very strongly. I don't know how many of the priestesses in the ceremonial circle were actually fully trained priestesses, but it is a lot easier to do a ceremony and to hold space with a group of priestesses who have had the same training. This will grow if the priestesses continue to do ceremony together. I do hope that I may join them in the ceremonial cirlce next year.
The energy of these days was lovely, the performers and the artists really brought in a strong positive woman-power-energy which was very nurturing and gorgeous. I enjoyed making new friends and I already miss all of them!
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| Rigani Mother of Earth |
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| Percht Mother of Air |
I am in awe at what these four visionary women have manifested. I really hope they do another conference again next year.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Fee und der Schlangenkrieger Cover
Friday, April 20, 2012
Fee und der Schlangenkrieger
I know it's been ages since my last post, but besides getting to know Lilith-Anna and exploring our new life with her, I have also worked a lot. I am incredibly proud now: I have just
published my first novel „Fee und der Schlangenkrieger“ on
www.neobooks.com. It is a
fantasy story about three girl archaeologists who travel back in and
find themselves right in the middle of a Bronze Age war.
It has got lots of exciting things in
it: beautiful men, strong women, battles, warriors, priestesses,
magic and mystery, archaeology, the skydisc of Nebra, reinkarnation,
the Goddess, mythology, deep woods and open skies, love, hatred,
despair, hope and humor!
Fee und der Schlangenkrieger is
intended to be the first book of a series of time-travelling books,
in which we follow Fee's adventures in several different prehistoric
cultures.
It was a lot of fun to do the research
for this novel and to write it. The last few days I have been
extremely busy getting everything ready for publication. And now you
can have a look at it and read the first 80 pages http://www.neobooks.com/werk/12665-fee-und-der-schlangenkrieger.html I would be
ever so grateful if you would „like“ my novel and if you speak
German, leave a „Rezension“ and an „Empfehlung“. This
improves my chances of the publishing house getting interested in
publishing a printed version of Fee und der Schlangenkrieger.
And if you got interested and would
like to find out how the whole story ends, you can also purchase the
whole book there.
I really enjoyed writing Fee und der
Schlangenkrieger and I hope you have a good time reading it!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
My Daughter is here
On the 10th of February I gave birth to my daughter Lilith-Anna. She is absolutely beautiful. She has the sweetest little face. She looks like a little woodland fairy. I could constantly take photos of her. Sometimes she reminds me of a little blackberry, sometimes she looks like a cherry and sometimes like a squirrel. She has a lot of hair and very dark blue eyes. I hope they stay like that.
The birth was very demanding. Mitja was fantastic, he stayed home with me for 2 weeks and is now back in work for the first time today. And I'm on my own for the first time with Lili, we'll see how it goes.
A few days ago I did a blessingway ceremony for Lilith, to bid her welcome in this life in the name of the Goddess. I called to Bridie and asked Her to shine Her light on Lilith, to bless her, guide her and run wild and free with her all her life. I lit Lilith's blessing candle and anointed herwith milk. Then I called to the Lady of Avalon, asking Her to bless Lilith and gave her the elemental blessings. It was very touching.
The birth was very demanding. Mitja was fantastic, he stayed home with me for 2 weeks and is now back in work for the first time today. And I'm on my own for the first time with Lili, we'll see how it goes.
A few days ago I did a blessingway ceremony for Lilith, to bid her welcome in this life in the name of the Goddess. I called to Bridie and asked Her to shine Her light on Lilith, to bless her, guide her and run wild and free with her all her life. I lit Lilith's blessing candle and anointed herwith milk. Then I called to the Lady of Avalon, asking Her to bless Lilith and gave her the elemental blessings. It was very touching.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Musings on my daughter's roots
I was born by the mediterranean sea, where the land carries the echoes of peoples long gone. The Romans, the Greeks, the celto-liguric tribes and peoples further back in time, who sailed the seas and traded, shaping what later became Europe.
The Mont Ste. Victoire near Aix-en-Provence, where we lived
For the first few years in this life my eyes perceived the world in a special shining light. The bright sun of Provence warmed my skin. The ground was dry and my feet toddled over pebbles, the air I breathed was full of spices.
I grew up in the North of Germany, where the soil is dark and moist, the land is flat and the horizon is low. Where buzzards fly in a leaden sky and the Goddess lives in moors and heather. There I watched my mother and I learned to love the Earth. I learned about the cycles of planting and growth, of harvesting and rest. I learned how to build and tend to a woodfire.
In spring the white skin of birch tree maidens shines bright, planted in pairs following straight trackways across the great Northern Plains, their hair of fresh green leafes dancing in the wind. In summer cattle graze on deep green meadows, growing fat, crops grow high and flowers are colourful and abundant. Ancient stones have stood there for millennia, like watchers following the change of the seasons and of ages.
One of seven neolithic tombs, called the Seven Stone Houses, in the heather not far from where my Mum lives
Standing Stones also watch the land of Brittany. My father's people are the people of the West and every year I went to connect to this part of my heritage. There I heard the ancestors call me, the Celts and the neolithic people, whisper stories to my ear, of sea lore and earth lore, the hidden meaning of the symbols carved into the stone. I heard the mermaids sing and the selkies cry. Marie Morgane stirred the seasalt within the blood that runs in my veins and told me stories of the world below the tides.
I walked among stones aligned and womb-like tombs, built from stone and earth. I walked the coast of grey granit in the rain and watched the green-grey sea, sea spray clinging to my skin and hair, rugged rocks and stormy skies, royal sunsets and misty veils. I swam and played in the waves, found treasures on the beach, watched the sea pinks nod their little heads on the cliffs and I listened.
I listened to the music in the wind and stories of the seagulls.
My mother's folk came from the heartland of Germany, crossing artificial borders and stretching into slavic lands and Baltic countries. This is a land that has seen many uproars and wars, where peoples fought and killed other peoples, where blood has deeply soaked the earth and cultures and kingdomes came and went.
It is hard to feel secure and safe where nothing is constant, because what is built is quickly unrooted and torn down again. The only thing lasting there is the land itself, which carries memories of all. Plains and fields interchange with hills and deep forests, land and sky meet directly and for ever the living energy of creation and destruction flows between the two, extending out into and nurturing the whole of Europe.
I have been blessed to have been able to do a little bit of travelling, dipping into the flow and the scent of other cultures on other continents.
I have marvelled at the speed and sound and colours and at the stillness and the attention to purpose and detail of Japan, I have watched the mist hide the traces of the Native Americans' heritage between the trees in the woodland hills of Washington, USA, and I have felt the desert sands on my skin while ancient stone faces silently smiled down on me in Northern Africa. I have yet to explore the lakes and forests of the North, I am longing to see the Northern Lights and the Midnight Sun. But where I feel most at home is in Western Europe. I long to return to walk the lush green land of Avalon, to warm myself by the fireplace with a hot Whiskey again while outside the Irish rain comes lashing down, to walk again among the Stones in Brittany. I love my life in the Rhine Valley where the Goddesses Matrona guard the land and I love to return to my roots in the dark land of the Northern plains. But I miss the Sea. I hear the wind and the harps calling me, I smell the fires and I feel the Stones in my blood.
Snoqualmie Falls
Path up the Tor, Glastonbury
Hathor's Temple in Dendera
My Mum and I in Matrona's Temple in Nettersheim
The haven that is my Mum's garden in the North.
This is only my part of the whole picture. It is for my partner to tell his own story, if he wants to do that. So when our child is born, where will she feel is her home? Where has her soul come from? What will I teach her? Who will she be?
The Mont Ste. Victoire near Aix-en-Provence, where we lived
For the first few years in this life my eyes perceived the world in a special shining light. The bright sun of Provence warmed my skin. The ground was dry and my feet toddled over pebbles, the air I breathed was full of spices.
I grew up in the North of Germany, where the soil is dark and moist, the land is flat and the horizon is low. Where buzzards fly in a leaden sky and the Goddess lives in moors and heather. There I watched my mother and I learned to love the Earth. I learned about the cycles of planting and growth, of harvesting and rest. I learned how to build and tend to a woodfire.
In spring the white skin of birch tree maidens shines bright, planted in pairs following straight trackways across the great Northern Plains, their hair of fresh green leafes dancing in the wind. In summer cattle graze on deep green meadows, growing fat, crops grow high and flowers are colourful and abundant. Ancient stones have stood there for millennia, like watchers following the change of the seasons and of ages.
One of seven neolithic tombs, called the Seven Stone Houses, in the heather not far from where my Mum lives
Standing Stones also watch the land of Brittany. My father's people are the people of the West and every year I went to connect to this part of my heritage. There I heard the ancestors call me, the Celts and the neolithic people, whisper stories to my ear, of sea lore and earth lore, the hidden meaning of the symbols carved into the stone. I heard the mermaids sing and the selkies cry. Marie Morgane stirred the seasalt within the blood that runs in my veins and told me stories of the world below the tides.
I walked among stones aligned and womb-like tombs, built from stone and earth. I walked the coast of grey granit in the rain and watched the green-grey sea, sea spray clinging to my skin and hair, rugged rocks and stormy skies, royal sunsets and misty veils. I swam and played in the waves, found treasures on the beach, watched the sea pinks nod their little heads on the cliffs and I listened.
I listened to the music in the wind and stories of the seagulls.
My mother's folk came from the heartland of Germany, crossing artificial borders and stretching into slavic lands and Baltic countries. This is a land that has seen many uproars and wars, where peoples fought and killed other peoples, where blood has deeply soaked the earth and cultures and kingdomes came and went.
It is hard to feel secure and safe where nothing is constant, because what is built is quickly unrooted and torn down again. The only thing lasting there is the land itself, which carries memories of all. Plains and fields interchange with hills and deep forests, land and sky meet directly and for ever the living energy of creation and destruction flows between the two, extending out into and nurturing the whole of Europe.
I have been blessed to have been able to do a little bit of travelling, dipping into the flow and the scent of other cultures on other continents.
I have marvelled at the speed and sound and colours and at the stillness and the attention to purpose and detail of Japan, I have watched the mist hide the traces of the Native Americans' heritage between the trees in the woodland hills of Washington, USA, and I have felt the desert sands on my skin while ancient stone faces silently smiled down on me in Northern Africa. I have yet to explore the lakes and forests of the North, I am longing to see the Northern Lights and the Midnight Sun. But where I feel most at home is in Western Europe. I long to return to walk the lush green land of Avalon, to warm myself by the fireplace with a hot Whiskey again while outside the Irish rain comes lashing down, to walk again among the Stones in Brittany. I love my life in the Rhine Valley where the Goddesses Matrona guard the land and I love to return to my roots in the dark land of the Northern plains. But I miss the Sea. I hear the wind and the harps calling me, I smell the fires and I feel the Stones in my blood.
Snoqualmie Falls
Path up the Tor, Glastonbury
Hathor's Temple in Dendera
My Mum and I in Matrona's Temple in Nettersheim
The haven that is my Mum's garden in the North.
This is only my part of the whole picture. It is for my partner to tell his own story, if he wants to do that. So when our child is born, where will she feel is her home? Where has her soul come from? What will I teach her? Who will she be?
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Blessing Ceremony before the Birth
Sunday morning I went to the river in silence. Breathing in through my yoni and out through my crown I connected to the Source, the Lady's energy that runs in the Earth. It was very misty and quiet with barely any runners. Calling in the Lady of Avalon and Bridie the Maiden Goddess I walked to a place where there is access to the water. There are always loads of seagulls there, ducks and often also some swans. There weren't any swans on Sunday morning, but the seagulls were sitting on the balustrade. They took flight when I approached and circled in the air, calling. It looked beautiful against the grey sky.
I called to Bridie then whose sacred day is the 2nd of February. She is the Fiery Arrow, the holder of the Triple Flame of Healing, Smithcraft and Poetry. She is the Maiden, who brings new beginnings, and also the midwife who helps the new into being. My due date is the 3rd of February, so I have from the beginning of my pregnancy felt that she is my baby's guardian, watching over me and over the pregnancy and that all is well.
As I stood there by the water in the mist, I felt the gates between the worlds were open. Especially above the water the mist was so thick I really couldn't see far, and I listened to the seagulls as they settled again. The ducks mostly slept.
I poured my libation of cow's milk into the water and asked Bridie for a gentle and joyful birth. I asked her to watch over me and my daughter and to keep us healthy. Then I dropped my dried rose petals, lavender blossoms and herbs into the river, asking Bridie to bless our new life as a family together with health, joy, love, understanding and abundance. I asked Her to be my daughters guardian goddess all her life. As I watched the stream carry my offerings away and the seagulls circle in the air I scried for my daughter.
When I heard a crow calling behind me I turned around and there was Morgen Thitis in Her crow form sitting on a lamp post, bearing witness to my ceremony and answering my prayer, letting me know that my daughter would be watched over all her life.
I love it when the world reveals its magic, and when you don't know where Thisworld ends and the Otherworld begins.
It was a beautiful, powerful ceremony. I thanked the Lady and walked home through my hometown. Then I had a very nice nurturing müsli for breakfast, sitting in my kitchen and watching the mist slowly slowly disappear through my window, until the sun came out.
I called to Bridie then whose sacred day is the 2nd of February. She is the Fiery Arrow, the holder of the Triple Flame of Healing, Smithcraft and Poetry. She is the Maiden, who brings new beginnings, and also the midwife who helps the new into being. My due date is the 3rd of February, so I have from the beginning of my pregnancy felt that she is my baby's guardian, watching over me and over the pregnancy and that all is well.
As I stood there by the water in the mist, I felt the gates between the worlds were open. Especially above the water the mist was so thick I really couldn't see far, and I listened to the seagulls as they settled again. The ducks mostly slept.
I poured my libation of cow's milk into the water and asked Bridie for a gentle and joyful birth. I asked her to watch over me and my daughter and to keep us healthy. Then I dropped my dried rose petals, lavender blossoms and herbs into the river, asking Bridie to bless our new life as a family together with health, joy, love, understanding and abundance. I asked Her to be my daughters guardian goddess all her life. As I watched the stream carry my offerings away and the seagulls circle in the air I scried for my daughter.
When I heard a crow calling behind me I turned around and there was Morgen Thitis in Her crow form sitting on a lamp post, bearing witness to my ceremony and answering my prayer, letting me know that my daughter would be watched over all her life.
I love it when the world reveals its magic, and when you don't know where Thisworld ends and the Otherworld begins.
It was a beautiful, powerful ceremony. I thanked the Lady and walked home through my hometown. Then I had a very nice nurturing müsli for breakfast, sitting in my kitchen and watching the mist slowly slowly disappear through my window, until the sun came out.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Sacred Nights and Holle's Day
In Germany we celebrate the twelve Sacred Nights. The first night is the night of the Winter Solstice and then again the nights between the Mother's Night on the 24th of December up to the 6th of January, which is in some regions called Perchta's Night, in others Holle's Night or the Shining Night. In German these nights are called the Rauhnächte, which phonetically is the „harsh nights“, but it actually derives from Rauch – smoke and räuchern – to smudge, and they are called this because during these nights, we smudge every room of the flat or house every day, asking the Goddess to bless our home and all living there.
I have to admit the Winter Solstice passed for me without me barely paying notice. I was in some other place, being slightly obsessed with getting ready for the arrival of the little fairy and somehow felt I had to manifest and paint a baby changing unit before going home to the North for Christmas.
This is it. It's so pretty. This is where we will look after the little bean.
Christmas with my family was very quiet and wonderful. My poor Mum had a chemo treatment just the day before the Mother's Night and was absolutely low on energy during the holidays, which suited me fine, because so was I. I spent Christmas on the couch by the fire, reading and eating. Everybody loved my Lebkuchen and Christmas buiscuits, so that made me happy, we had some lovely food and I got some really fantastic gifts, including a car seat for the baby from my brothers and lots of sweet tiny baby stuff from my brother's partner. My eldest brother, my Mum and I spent one whole night on watching the first season of Downton Abbey together, which had been my gift for my brother, and we really enjoyed that.
I couldn't stay long in the North due to appointments with my midwives and finally the beginning of a new project in work. But I did manage to go to PolyTheae.V.'s celebration of Holle's Day at the Centre Helfensteine near Kassel!
I was really eager to go to and at least mark the end of the 12 Sacred Nights. The three days festival marked Holle's Night with a beautiful ceremony, storytelling, songs, workshops and talks. Due to difficulties with my car... yes, more difficulties... my friend Helga and I arrived late, but we did get there! It was organised by my sister priestess of Avalon Miriam and her organisation PolyThea e.V., and it was wonderful to see her again, and my friend Peti, both had been priestessing with me in the first German Goddess Conference in October 2009 and I hadn't seen both since the Avalon Goddess Conference in July 2010. Later in the evening my friend Simone arrived, again I hadn't seen her since the German Conference. There was hugs and sisterhood and laughter and it felt SO GOOD! But of course there were also loads of women there I hadn't met before and also some of the „bigger names“, and I was really curious what they were like. The energy all the way through the three days was lovely, everybody I met was really friendly, welcoming and in fact there was only one woman who came across a bit weird, but never mind. I felt really well there and felt I made lots of new friends, though I usually need a while before I feel comfortable around new people.
It was absolutely lovely to stand in circle again with sister priestesses and to call in, I was in the South so I called in the Water and though I wasn't involved in any other way in the festival, I loved to priestess, so thank you big time, Miriam, for asking me xxx
It was a really lovely time. Some of the workshops were wonderful, some I didn't like too much. We journeyed into the Underworld and took whatever we needed for the new solar year from the Hel's Cauldron. We journeyed into Arianrhod's spiral castle of Caer Sidi and into the Stillness and brought back visions for the coming months. We strengthened and blessed our visions through voicing, witnessing and laughter in the ancient rite of the Yule Boar. We danced and shared traditional Yule/Christmas cookies.
The feathered fan I made. My old one was broken some time ago and I never replaced it, so it's good, to have a wafter again to use for smudging.
Holle's Day this year was special in another way for my sister priestesses, because it was the day of our friend and teacher Kathy's masectomy. So we gathered outside on the land, called in the Wheel of Avalon and did a healing ceremony, reaching out to her across the land and through and the land, sending her our love and healing on the currents in the Air and in the Earth. I was glad to be able to do this with Miriam and Peti, and also glad to by doing this bring the special energy of Avalon into the Holle Festival, which is so important to me.
The grounds of the retreat house are beautiful. I didn't make it up the Helfensteine, but then I didn't sleep much and being 36 weeks pregnant I thought I can really leave this experience to the next time I'm there.
Another thing I enjoyed was how during the meals all the Mothers shared their stories of their own pregnancies and birthings with me, and how all the Lovers asked me to share about my experience of this pregnancy. Since we do not live in clans anymore and don't have frequent women's circles anymore, we are in danger of losing access to this wisdom. But I have never accepted going through this transition time on my own, but have always reached out to my sisters. Sharing and celebrating our moon cycles and life's initiations is part of our heritage as women. And it's wonderful to experience and fun to do!
I enjoyed being in the festival space a lot, and it was exciting and positive and great, but I was also quite happy when I was back home Saturday night. Time to rest now and let the vision take root. Even though the Sacred Nights are over, we are still in the Stillness and spend as much time as possible dreaming, hibernating and just being.
I have to admit the Winter Solstice passed for me without me barely paying notice. I was in some other place, being slightly obsessed with getting ready for the arrival of the little fairy and somehow felt I had to manifest and paint a baby changing unit before going home to the North for Christmas.
This is it. It's so pretty. This is where we will look after the little bean.
Christmas with my family was very quiet and wonderful. My poor Mum had a chemo treatment just the day before the Mother's Night and was absolutely low on energy during the holidays, which suited me fine, because so was I. I spent Christmas on the couch by the fire, reading and eating. Everybody loved my Lebkuchen and Christmas buiscuits, so that made me happy, we had some lovely food and I got some really fantastic gifts, including a car seat for the baby from my brothers and lots of sweet tiny baby stuff from my brother's partner. My eldest brother, my Mum and I spent one whole night on watching the first season of Downton Abbey together, which had been my gift for my brother, and we really enjoyed that.
I couldn't stay long in the North due to appointments with my midwives and finally the beginning of a new project in work. But I did manage to go to PolyTheae.V.'s celebration of Holle's Day at the Centre Helfensteine near Kassel!
I was really eager to go to and at least mark the end of the 12 Sacred Nights. The three days festival marked Holle's Night with a beautiful ceremony, storytelling, songs, workshops and talks. Due to difficulties with my car... yes, more difficulties... my friend Helga and I arrived late, but we did get there! It was organised by my sister priestess of Avalon Miriam and her organisation PolyThea e.V., and it was wonderful to see her again, and my friend Peti, both had been priestessing with me in the first German Goddess Conference in October 2009 and I hadn't seen both since the Avalon Goddess Conference in July 2010. Later in the evening my friend Simone arrived, again I hadn't seen her since the German Conference. There was hugs and sisterhood and laughter and it felt SO GOOD! But of course there were also loads of women there I hadn't met before and also some of the „bigger names“, and I was really curious what they were like. The energy all the way through the three days was lovely, everybody I met was really friendly, welcoming and in fact there was only one woman who came across a bit weird, but never mind. I felt really well there and felt I made lots of new friends, though I usually need a while before I feel comfortable around new people.
It was absolutely lovely to stand in circle again with sister priestesses and to call in, I was in the South so I called in the Water and though I wasn't involved in any other way in the festival, I loved to priestess, so thank you big time, Miriam, for asking me xxx
It was a really lovely time. Some of the workshops were wonderful, some I didn't like too much. We journeyed into the Underworld and took whatever we needed for the new solar year from the Hel's Cauldron. We journeyed into Arianrhod's spiral castle of Caer Sidi and into the Stillness and brought back visions for the coming months. We strengthened and blessed our visions through voicing, witnessing and laughter in the ancient rite of the Yule Boar. We danced and shared traditional Yule/Christmas cookies.
The feathered fan I made. My old one was broken some time ago and I never replaced it, so it's good, to have a wafter again to use for smudging.
Holle's Day this year was special in another way for my sister priestesses, because it was the day of our friend and teacher Kathy's masectomy. So we gathered outside on the land, called in the Wheel of Avalon and did a healing ceremony, reaching out to her across the land and through and the land, sending her our love and healing on the currents in the Air and in the Earth. I was glad to be able to do this with Miriam and Peti, and also glad to by doing this bring the special energy of Avalon into the Holle Festival, which is so important to me.
The grounds of the retreat house are beautiful. I didn't make it up the Helfensteine, but then I didn't sleep much and being 36 weeks pregnant I thought I can really leave this experience to the next time I'm there.
Another thing I enjoyed was how during the meals all the Mothers shared their stories of their own pregnancies and birthings with me, and how all the Lovers asked me to share about my experience of this pregnancy. Since we do not live in clans anymore and don't have frequent women's circles anymore, we are in danger of losing access to this wisdom. But I have never accepted going through this transition time on my own, but have always reached out to my sisters. Sharing and celebrating our moon cycles and life's initiations is part of our heritage as women. And it's wonderful to experience and fun to do!
I enjoyed being in the festival space a lot, and it was exciting and positive and great, but I was also quite happy when I was back home Saturday night. Time to rest now and let the vision take root. Even though the Sacred Nights are over, we are still in the Stillness and spend as much time as possible dreaming, hibernating and just being.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Birth Candles
This is the Birth Candle I made for the baby, the purple gems for the Lady's Blessings and the blue ones for her (my daughter's) element's blessings - she is a little mermaid.
And this is the Birth Candle I made for myself, the red symbolizing the blood, the life and the female power in birth.
I called in the Lady before I began working on the candles, annointed them, decorated them, charged them with prayers and blessed them, and then dedicated them to the Lady. They are now sitting on my altar where they'll remain until the perfect day comes.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
In the Cauldron/In the Stillness
I am now in my 33rd week. I am not working at the moment because the start of the next project keeps being postponed, and I'm quite happy about it. I am incredibly heavy and big by now, and I want to sleep 18hrs per day. I am very short of breath, I'm too hot most of the time and the smallest activity has me end up covered in sweat... Also my digestion is completely messed up. The last few weeks havn't been easy.
My nephew sadly has died in late November. He was a charming young man, with a very lovely heart energy, suffering from mucoviscidosis since his birth. He was only 23 years old when his spirit returned to the Source, and his funeral was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced in my life.
I have spent the weeks since trying to figure out what needs to be done bureaucracy-wise in order to receive maternal allowance and parental support once the little fairy is here, and I am not even going to talk about how stupid the people are at the office and how illogical and unfair the system is. I think I am there now, so I refuse to waste another thought on this.
With really strong tummy pains and the return of my headaches it was quite a difficult time in the Cauldron for me though.
In order to not lose myself in the Cauldron I kept myself busy connecting to the changing energy of the Lady as the Wheel turns to Yule. I have spent three days making Lebkuchen and they turned out LOVELY and I have also made another birth candle. Now that the placenta has moved and my gynaecologist said there is no reason not to have a home birth, I am quite looking forward to giving birth. The first birth candle I made was a blessing candle for the little mermaid, and this one now is blood red to give me strength and empower me, and it is quite strong. Also I am woring on a painting of Sheilagh na Gig which should be finished soon. But I tire quickly and then I go to bed, because my wise mother-friends have all told me to go and have a nap when I'm tired as long as I still can, so I don't feel bad about it at all :-)
The baby is healthy and happy, dancing and swimming around in Her womb sea and I am moving into the Stillness, into the Dreamtime and into hibernation.
My nephew sadly has died in late November. He was a charming young man, with a very lovely heart energy, suffering from mucoviscidosis since his birth. He was only 23 years old when his spirit returned to the Source, and his funeral was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced in my life.
I have spent the weeks since trying to figure out what needs to be done bureaucracy-wise in order to receive maternal allowance and parental support once the little fairy is here, and I am not even going to talk about how stupid the people are at the office and how illogical and unfair the system is. I think I am there now, so I refuse to waste another thought on this.
With really strong tummy pains and the return of my headaches it was quite a difficult time in the Cauldron for me though.
In order to not lose myself in the Cauldron I kept myself busy connecting to the changing energy of the Lady as the Wheel turns to Yule. I have spent three days making Lebkuchen and they turned out LOVELY and I have also made another birth candle. Now that the placenta has moved and my gynaecologist said there is no reason not to have a home birth, I am quite looking forward to giving birth. The first birth candle I made was a blessing candle for the little mermaid, and this one now is blood red to give me strength and empower me, and it is quite strong. Also I am woring on a painting of Sheilagh na Gig which should be finished soon. But I tire quickly and then I go to bed, because my wise mother-friends have all told me to go and have a nap when I'm tired as long as I still can, so I don't feel bad about it at all :-)
The baby is healthy and happy, dancing and swimming around in Her womb sea and I am moving into the Stillness, into the Dreamtime and into hibernation.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Winter begins: Dia de Muertos, Frida Kahlo and Paper Lanterns
Winter is coming and the world seems to be becoming quieter. I have finished my painting of Keridwen. She looks different than I thought She would, not scary but mischieveous. I am having not such a bad Samhain time this year. I feel cosey and looked after and dealing with diffulties when I can and then letting them go and just trying to accept them when I can't.
Last Saturday Mitja and I went into town to get some groceries and stumbled across an exhibition of Dia de Muertos and La Catrina, the mexican tradition of honouring the Dead by setting up colourful altars for them. I was delighted at the sights, the tables were decorated with paperflowers in shining colours, photographs, food, alcohol, skulls, skeletons, sugar skulls, skull candles, bone shaped cakes and loads more. They even had an altar to honour Frieda Kahlo there, which made me quite happy because I admire her. Besides all of the things mentioned above it was decorated with lots of little photographs and prints of her paintings. A mexican lady explained all the decorations to me, how the Day of the Dead is celebrated in Mexico, how the sugar skulls are given to children, how nobody touches the food on the altars, because their scent is food to the Dead (there was one chicken dish wich they served their Deceased with a sauce made from hot chilies and chocolate!) and also how important Frida Kahlo ist to the mexican people until today. I loved the colours and the vivid energy of the altars. Such a different way from our celebrations at Samhain, Allerseelen and Totensonntag.
The trees have nearly lost their leaves now. When I crossed the Rhine a few days ago, the Seven Mountains were hidden in the mist, the water soft blue and the sky white, blue and pink. It looked totally enchanted. It was very quiet also, because many people who usually walk their dogs and go jogging by the Rhine had stayed in, because it was so cold.
Two days ago while I was working, I suddenly heard a marching band outside. We all left our descs and went to the window, and there were children walking candle-lit paper laterns through the streets. Here in this catholic place they claim it has to do with St. Martin, they even have somebody in a wannabe Roman uniform on horse, rding ahead. But I think it's a pagan thing, come down to us from Samhain lighting lanterns in the darkening season and possibly from making lanterns from beets to either scare away hostile presences or to light the way home to benign ones.
When I cycled home later I saw that many houses and shops had hung out illuminated paper lanterns outside their windows and placed candles in their flowerpots. It looked so beautiful and so pagan.
I love how this is living folklore, autumn is over, winter is beginning, and soon the Wheel will turn towards Yule. I have made fruit bread and christmas buiscuits and Bratäpfel, and in town they are putting up the Christmas decorations.
Last Saturday Mitja and I went into town to get some groceries and stumbled across an exhibition of Dia de Muertos and La Catrina, the mexican tradition of honouring the Dead by setting up colourful altars for them. I was delighted at the sights, the tables were decorated with paperflowers in shining colours, photographs, food, alcohol, skulls, skeletons, sugar skulls, skull candles, bone shaped cakes and loads more. They even had an altar to honour Frieda Kahlo there, which made me quite happy because I admire her. Besides all of the things mentioned above it was decorated with lots of little photographs and prints of her paintings. A mexican lady explained all the decorations to me, how the Day of the Dead is celebrated in Mexico, how the sugar skulls are given to children, how nobody touches the food on the altars, because their scent is food to the Dead (there was one chicken dish wich they served their Deceased with a sauce made from hot chilies and chocolate!) and also how important Frida Kahlo ist to the mexican people until today. I loved the colours and the vivid energy of the altars. Such a different way from our celebrations at Samhain, Allerseelen and Totensonntag.
The trees have nearly lost their leaves now. When I crossed the Rhine a few days ago, the Seven Mountains were hidden in the mist, the water soft blue and the sky white, blue and pink. It looked totally enchanted. It was very quiet also, because many people who usually walk their dogs and go jogging by the Rhine had stayed in, because it was so cold.
Two days ago while I was working, I suddenly heard a marching band outside. We all left our descs and went to the window, and there were children walking candle-lit paper laterns through the streets. Here in this catholic place they claim it has to do with St. Martin, they even have somebody in a wannabe Roman uniform on horse, rding ahead. But I think it's a pagan thing, come down to us from Samhain lighting lanterns in the darkening season and possibly from making lanterns from beets to either scare away hostile presences or to light the way home to benign ones.
When I cycled home later I saw that many houses and shops had hung out illuminated paper lanterns outside their windows and placed candles in their flowerpots. It looked so beautiful and so pagan.
I love how this is living folklore, autumn is over, winter is beginning, and soon the Wheel will turn towards Yule. I have made fruit bread and christmas buiscuits and Bratäpfel, and in town they are putting up the Christmas decorations.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Samhain Blessings
Samhain is one of the most important festivals in the year of the Goddess. It is celebrated on the night of the 31st October. This is a night out of time, where the veils between this world and the Otherworld are thin and the gates are open. It is a night out of time. The old year has died and the new one hasn't yet begun. It is a time where spirits can travel between the worlds and our ancestors are among us. I always put a candle in the window, so my ancestors find their way to me. Samhain is the beginning of winter, of the dark season, a time of introspection and it is the season of the Dark Mother, when the Goddess takes on Her face of Crone and Bringer of Death. In Avalon we honour Keridwen, Keeper of the Cauldron of Transformation. It is good time to realease old things, that no longer serve us or Her. In Her cauldron everything is transformed.
I went to a Samhain celebration in Bonn. Mitja was lovely enough to drive me there. It is so sweet of him. We went in silence through the darkness until we came to an old cemetary set inside some woods. People had lit candles on the tombs and it looked beautiful. I was afraid there might be teenangers somewhere on the cemetary drinking beer, it was Halloween after all, but we encountered nobody. We then cast the circle, called the Goddess, the elements and the ancestors to be with us. We then remembered the loved ones we have lost since last Samhain and remembered all the nameless Deceased who have died in war and in nature catastrophes in the last 12 months. And then we gave them a blessing on their journey and sang for them to help their souls find their way onwards. I think that is such a lovely thing to do, to say goodbye to the ones you love and set them free to go, and also to sing for the ones that nobody sang for.
This is what I like to sing for them:
Buzzard call you back to the wild land
Heron fly you home
Journey to the soul of your own land
Where the Mothers wait for your return
Heron fly you home
Carolyn Hillyer
I hope when I die one day, I'll have a huge family, which sits around my bed and that they will sing this for me to help me on my journey back to the Source.
We then lit more candles for the Souls and then left in silence.
Back home we honoured our ancestors. First we did a meditation journeying into a cave to meet the heritage of our ancestors, seeing what was theirs and not ours, what had been insignificant to them but was meaningful to us, leaving and offering and receiving a gift. We travelled to the land of our ancestors and I firstly wondered whether I should go to eastern Germany or to western France. I found myself on a rocky coastland with grey skies above, and neolithic tombs. I knew I was in the West, to the East lay the whole of the continent, which was all the land of my ancestors and to the West lay many islands, which were also the home of my anceszors. When I pondered the islands I felt the wind and heard some keys of a harp. Then the baby started hopping around madly in my belly and I felt "Is this where you came from?" Am I having a celtic baby? I realise that there is no question whether the land of my ancestors is either France or Germany. It is all Europe, I've known that before, but the link that helped me see and understand them as really connected as one in this meditation, were the standing stones. I have visited so many standing stones in Brittany and Western France and loved them so much, and it never seemed to be meaningful to me that the Lüneburger Heide and the Altmark, the areas that surround my mum's house where I grew up are the areas of Germany with the most remaining megalithic formations.
Then we journeyed through the elements acknowledging the parts of our heritage we were proud of and the ones that made us cry. It was very powerful.
After a delicious feast we closed the circle.
It was a beautiful ceremony, I was really happy to keep the focus on the ancestors. In Avalon I think we might probably have focused on releasing and rebirthing, and that is very powerful and important as well, but I miss doing ceremonies to honour the elements or in this case the ancestors, without hoping for something for myself. We do so many ceremonies where we want a special outcome, a healing experience, or something similar, I feel serving is also just tending the elements, honouring the ancestors, the Moon, the Sun, anything really with maybe moving the focus away from ourselves and back to the practice.
Having said that, a day before I had already done my own ceremony to honour Keridwen, and to release my old destructive patterns and ways of thinking into Her cauldron. I'd feel very rude if I didn't honour Her apropriately. Since my birthday is merely 8 days gone I consider Her to be my special guardian.
Come and taste of the cauldron's brew
Magic She will give to you
You will dance in the eye of the storm
You're Keridwen's children
The cauldron-born
(Damh the Bard)
Mitja found the coin in the fairy cake. I had made special pumpkin fairy cakes for the occasion and baked a coin into one. That is a very good omen for our family abundance in the coming year. I found it very hard to articulate an intention for the coming year, seeing as I have no idea how becoming a mother will change my life. So I have just planted the seed of love. My intention is to spread the love, love my family and myself. Then I brought Mitja some hot spiced apple juice and read my belly the chapter on Keridwen and Morgen La Fey in Luna Moon Hare. And then the sun set, the day of Samhain ended and the new year began. Blessings of Love and Growth to all, may this new year be the best yet.
Come with your depth and your ageless wisdom
Come with a cake and a warming brew
Carolyn Hillyer
I went to a Samhain celebration in Bonn. Mitja was lovely enough to drive me there. It is so sweet of him. We went in silence through the darkness until we came to an old cemetary set inside some woods. People had lit candles on the tombs and it looked beautiful. I was afraid there might be teenangers somewhere on the cemetary drinking beer, it was Halloween after all, but we encountered nobody. We then cast the circle, called the Goddess, the elements and the ancestors to be with us. We then remembered the loved ones we have lost since last Samhain and remembered all the nameless Deceased who have died in war and in nature catastrophes in the last 12 months. And then we gave them a blessing on their journey and sang for them to help their souls find their way onwards. I think that is such a lovely thing to do, to say goodbye to the ones you love and set them free to go, and also to sing for the ones that nobody sang for.
This is what I like to sing for them:
Buzzard call you back to the wild land
Heron fly you home
Journey to the soul of your own land
Where the Mothers wait for your return
Heron fly you home
Carolyn Hillyer
I hope when I die one day, I'll have a huge family, which sits around my bed and that they will sing this for me to help me on my journey back to the Source.
We then lit more candles for the Souls and then left in silence.
Back home we honoured our ancestors. First we did a meditation journeying into a cave to meet the heritage of our ancestors, seeing what was theirs and not ours, what had been insignificant to them but was meaningful to us, leaving and offering and receiving a gift. We travelled to the land of our ancestors and I firstly wondered whether I should go to eastern Germany or to western France. I found myself on a rocky coastland with grey skies above, and neolithic tombs. I knew I was in the West, to the East lay the whole of the continent, which was all the land of my ancestors and to the West lay many islands, which were also the home of my anceszors. When I pondered the islands I felt the wind and heard some keys of a harp. Then the baby started hopping around madly in my belly and I felt "Is this where you came from?" Am I having a celtic baby? I realise that there is no question whether the land of my ancestors is either France or Germany. It is all Europe, I've known that before, but the link that helped me see and understand them as really connected as one in this meditation, were the standing stones. I have visited so many standing stones in Brittany and Western France and loved them so much, and it never seemed to be meaningful to me that the Lüneburger Heide and the Altmark, the areas that surround my mum's house where I grew up are the areas of Germany with the most remaining megalithic formations.
Then we journeyed through the elements acknowledging the parts of our heritage we were proud of and the ones that made us cry. It was very powerful.
After a delicious feast we closed the circle.
It was a beautiful ceremony, I was really happy to keep the focus on the ancestors. In Avalon I think we might probably have focused on releasing and rebirthing, and that is very powerful and important as well, but I miss doing ceremonies to honour the elements or in this case the ancestors, without hoping for something for myself. We do so many ceremonies where we want a special outcome, a healing experience, or something similar, I feel serving is also just tending the elements, honouring the ancestors, the Moon, the Sun, anything really with maybe moving the focus away from ourselves and back to the practice.
Having said that, a day before I had already done my own ceremony to honour Keridwen, and to release my old destructive patterns and ways of thinking into Her cauldron. I'd feel very rude if I didn't honour Her apropriately. Since my birthday is merely 8 days gone I consider Her to be my special guardian.
Come and taste of the cauldron's brew
Magic She will give to you
You will dance in the eye of the storm
You're Keridwen's children
The cauldron-born
(Damh the Bard)
Mitja found the coin in the fairy cake. I had made special pumpkin fairy cakes for the occasion and baked a coin into one. That is a very good omen for our family abundance in the coming year. I found it very hard to articulate an intention for the coming year, seeing as I have no idea how becoming a mother will change my life. So I have just planted the seed of love. My intention is to spread the love, love my family and myself. Then I brought Mitja some hot spiced apple juice and read my belly the chapter on Keridwen and Morgen La Fey in Luna Moon Hare. And then the sun set, the day of Samhain ended and the new year began. Blessings of Love and Growth to all, may this new year be the best yet.
Come with your depth and your ageless wisdom
Come with a cake and a warming brew
Carolyn Hillyer
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Birthday Weekend
Last Sunday I turned 31. I think in the 31 years of my life this is the third time I can remember it being sunny on my birthday :-) And I had such a lovely time. Mitja took Freyas Day and Moon Day off and popped to the North for a very short trip to see my family on my birthday. We didn't do anything in particular on the Friday. Mitja offered to bake me an apple cake for my birthday, and because I couldn't decide which one I wanted he made me two. He is so incredibly loving.
Oh how lovely they were. We had one of them right then on the Friday.
On the Saturday my mum and I drove up to Magdeburg for a family celebration. My mum's cousin and his wife, my uncle and aunt, celebrated their 70th birthday. I don't get to see too much of my family so it was really lovely to be there. I even met some relatives I hadn't ever met before, only heard my mum talk about them. Her other cousin lives in Budapest with his son and lovely lovely wife. I liked them alot and Mama invited them over next year for her own 70th birthday. It's gonna be quite a big, international party!
On Sunday we had a lovely birthday breakfast. My older brother couldn't be there, but my younger was, and I was really glad to be with my family.
Where I sat at the breakfast table with the candle of the light of my life. Mama decorated my place with flowers and leaves from the garden. She does every year. I love it. That's why I go home. Nothing is as wonderful as having your mum look after you.
And this year I had my partner with me as well. How blessed am I.
We didn't have any lunch: We went for a walk instead. With my pregnancy it wasn't a very long walk, but the weather was so gorgeous we just enjoyed being out so much. We found the most beautiful apple tree by the side of a field and picked some apples and ate straight away. I wish we could have picked more to take home, they were delicious and I could have made them into yet another cake :-) I love apples. They are the sacred fruits of the Goddess and as I was born in the season when they are ripe they always make me feel extra blessed by the Lady. Also I can't think of any way in which apples aren't tasty. They are lovely in juice, in cider, fresh, cooked in compot, in apple sauce, in cakes, in pies, in pancakes, in savoury dishes, with pork or chicken, dried and in so many more ways! Thankyou Goddess for your wonderful fruit!
Then we had cake and coffee! Vally was there as well, and brought an other cake, this one with chocolate and nuts and creme and egg liqueur. So we enjoyed all!
My birthday cake. Mitja cut the central aple into the shape of a heart. Did I mention how much I love him?
And then we gathered by the fire place and spend some time chatting, reading and playing cards, while Mama had a little nap. But of course we weren't done eating! Mitja and I had cooked a pumpkin soup earlier in the day from one of the pumpkins from my mum's garden. She is the Green Goddess and harvests the most beautiful fruits and vegetables every year! The pumpkin was delicious.
The dinner table.
Vally couldn't stay for much longer after dinner, so we spent the rest of the day by the fire place, just the four of us: Mitja, Mama, Malte and I. And the little fairy in my womb who kept hopping and dancing, causing funny little bulges on the outside of my belly. Mama and I watched and felt her doing that for about an hour.
So, that was my birthday, very calm and quiet and more delicios food than we could manage!
The next day after two more meals with the family and a stroll through my mum's garden, Mitja and I went back to Bonn. We took the rest of the pumpkin with us to Bonn. It's huge. I have so far made another pumpkin soup, for when Mitja's step dad visited us on Wednesday, I have just made 7 glasses of super duper pumpkin marmelade, and there's still so much left that I'm planning to make a pumkin cake tomorrow for the Samhain ceremony on Moon Day evening. I don't know if I'll have used it up then. But I can't let the Mother's (Mother Earth's and Mama's) gifts go to waste! And I love cooking.
My lovely Mum and I in her garden.
I had such a lovely time in the North. It's about 7 weeks until Yule when I go back. Can't wait!
Oh how lovely they were. We had one of them right then on the Friday.
On the Saturday my mum and I drove up to Magdeburg for a family celebration. My mum's cousin and his wife, my uncle and aunt, celebrated their 70th birthday. I don't get to see too much of my family so it was really lovely to be there. I even met some relatives I hadn't ever met before, only heard my mum talk about them. Her other cousin lives in Budapest with his son and lovely lovely wife. I liked them alot and Mama invited them over next year for her own 70th birthday. It's gonna be quite a big, international party!
On Sunday we had a lovely birthday breakfast. My older brother couldn't be there, but my younger was, and I was really glad to be with my family.
Where I sat at the breakfast table with the candle of the light of my life. Mama decorated my place with flowers and leaves from the garden. She does every year. I love it. That's why I go home. Nothing is as wonderful as having your mum look after you.
And this year I had my partner with me as well. How blessed am I.
We didn't have any lunch: We went for a walk instead. With my pregnancy it wasn't a very long walk, but the weather was so gorgeous we just enjoyed being out so much. We found the most beautiful apple tree by the side of a field and picked some apples and ate straight away. I wish we could have picked more to take home, they were delicious and I could have made them into yet another cake :-) I love apples. They are the sacred fruits of the Goddess and as I was born in the season when they are ripe they always make me feel extra blessed by the Lady. Also I can't think of any way in which apples aren't tasty. They are lovely in juice, in cider, fresh, cooked in compot, in apple sauce, in cakes, in pies, in pancakes, in savoury dishes, with pork or chicken, dried and in so many more ways! Thankyou Goddess for your wonderful fruit!
Then we had cake and coffee! Vally was there as well, and brought an other cake, this one with chocolate and nuts and creme and egg liqueur. So we enjoyed all!
My birthday cake. Mitja cut the central aple into the shape of a heart. Did I mention how much I love him?
And then we gathered by the fire place and spend some time chatting, reading and playing cards, while Mama had a little nap. But of course we weren't done eating! Mitja and I had cooked a pumpkin soup earlier in the day from one of the pumpkins from my mum's garden. She is the Green Goddess and harvests the most beautiful fruits and vegetables every year! The pumpkin was delicious.
The dinner table.
Vally couldn't stay for much longer after dinner, so we spent the rest of the day by the fire place, just the four of us: Mitja, Mama, Malte and I. And the little fairy in my womb who kept hopping and dancing, causing funny little bulges on the outside of my belly. Mama and I watched and felt her doing that for about an hour.
So, that was my birthday, very calm and quiet and more delicios food than we could manage!
The next day after two more meals with the family and a stroll through my mum's garden, Mitja and I went back to Bonn. We took the rest of the pumpkin with us to Bonn. It's huge. I have so far made another pumpkin soup, for when Mitja's step dad visited us on Wednesday, I have just made 7 glasses of super duper pumpkin marmelade, and there's still so much left that I'm planning to make a pumkin cake tomorrow for the Samhain ceremony on Moon Day evening. I don't know if I'll have used it up then. But I can't let the Mother's (Mother Earth's and Mama's) gifts go to waste! And I love cooking.
My lovely Mum and I in her garden.
I had such a lovely time in the North. It's about 7 weeks until Yule when I go back. Can't wait!
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